The Fantastic Experiences of Glen Bosiwang

2006-04-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

ANIME IS SEEEEEXXXX - Anime fans around Malaysia are enraged with this article taken from KOSMOS (dated between 8 and 9 January 2006). Strangely enough, amongst these emotional and devastated young people, I am the only person who is completely pleased with the reporter's daring act. Even scholars from various universities in Malaysia seem to agree with his point of view. Glenmeister's full article of this debacle is posted BELOW.

Can anime be generalized as sex (violent) cartoons? I have only one thing to say in mind. . . YES!!!

2006-04-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hello, fellow readers! It's been some time since the Flickr segment, which has faced period of long gap and received the most responses so far, even if it includes spams. However, one hot topic seems to interest me and makes me want to write and post it on my blog because, well, it's just that it's become a common phenomenon in Malaysia. And it doesn't mean it's good for all who seek to redefine their own means. I never forget the very sage advice of Lat, Malaysia's finest cartoonist, who was interviewed by TV3 some time ago, "Anime is everywhere in Malaysia these days. But I can only suggest you all that you should try to define your own drawing talents instead of imitate them."

I just realized of the news yesterday when there are some anime fanatics (most of them are inexperienced youths) around the nation who think that sex cartoons shouldn't be generalized as anime. Thanks to an award-winning reporter for the local newspaper KOSMOS! (dated between 8 and 9 January of this year, so it's considered old news but it's still being fiercely debated up to this day), there is no doubt he would be criticized for providing some controversial, inaccurate information about the new generation's most passionate art form. But believe it or not, the Glenmeister thinks, for strange reason, he may be telling the slightest truth, in his own reflection, that anime has ever since adopt new, crazy stuff to reinvent genres. And guess what happens when makers of anime are running out of ideas? They'll turn to the conventional laws defined by master filmmakers before us, pick up the best, seductive elements (mostly sex, violence and twisted religions) to attract more viewers and by any chances, show them whatever these characters do will change the youth's attitude towards life, even if they know the whole settings in the show are completely made up. Hey, that's showbiz. I praise the reporter’s daring article for telling us that anime has since become a symbol of everything’s gone wrong (anime fans, bash me as you will). People, can't you see what’s in front of you?! I myself am horrified to see how anime has evolved into in the last few decades.

Maybe they can't. Local youths (and even old people) are too 'young' and 'surfacey' to understand these rather complicated, layered meanings of not only anime but other nonsensical subjects as well (hey, we're in Malaysia, remember?). Conventional anime makers really know the secret ingredients to success and parts of that include the type of appearances the characters should don, the clothing, the suggestion of skin color, the alluring body poses and shapes, wobbling breasts (very, very common), lots of blood (a thousand times more common), decapitated bodies (lots more than the last few said just now), etc. All done with or even strange enough, without the approval of the story itself. Perhaps the latter makes more sense in later years. I mean, yes, Neon Genesis Evangelion wasn't made to be conventional; it was quite different from what we’d seen at the time and some viewers were horrified to see scenes we were not meant to see (the main reasons why its sponsors were pulled away and the budget slashed). But cults of the show embraced, followed by more and the show itself became culturally significant to Japan. I bet you know the rest of the story in post-Evangelion, don't ya? And every recycled theme eventually bores the heck out of those who want pure originality. But that's not my point. Sexuality and other nuisance are instantly ported straight from Evangelion and other anime classics like Akira and being used for one thing: bling-bling! Remember, filmmakers, for one special movie isn't MEANT TO BE IMITATED FOR CHEAP ASS PURPOSES.

Animators and designers perfected their methods, creating and implementing stimulating essence into hand-drawn pictures and voila, perfect 'sex robots'! Even non-sexual anime can be sexual, depending on how the characters are portrayed and posed. Even little, innocent gals who have no idea of sensuality can be eventually wearing bikinis and tight panties on beaches, usually being posed in posters, cards and merchandises! Viewers like us can sometimes be perverts in a less expected twist! Our minds, once embracing our own thinking and ideology of life, suddenly whirled to that direction, now thinking that being 'anime' is the coolest thing you can ever have, starting with childhood. And it leads to social (and psychical/psychological) problems nowadays, again depending on how far you are being influenced by the shows now showing all over the regions and peninsulas and motherlands. That's right, anime has effective means and methods to catch one’s attention and for us, conventional anime is rated 'G'.

And have some of you ever wondered why most young characters, especially guys, are designed to look like as if they're from the same sex a la woman? And gals have to look as darn attractive as other women as well? Gays and lesbians, rejoice!

A counter to our 'heroic' reporter's term-calling shot was made later by some supporters of the genre at The Star to calm the fans down, saying things like notable differences between anime and hentai (it means adult anime but for me, that doesn't make any difference. All sorts of sub-genres in anime are overwhelmed by sex and violence these days) and blah blah blah. But then again, there are some inaccurate details as well, no matter how legitimate an article can be. Doraemon may well be a kiddy show (and comic) but there are some SLIGHT PORNOGRAPHIC elements that are peppered throughout some of the strips (we take a look at the female character taking her bath without her and Nobita's permission, of course). Whoever writes that Doraemon is made only for kids, please check out the previous comic volumes for further proof.

Miyazaki's movies, in my opinion, are definitely NOT pornographic, for they are BRILLIANT movies made by BRILLIANT talents (I almost don't call his movies 'anime'. These kinds of movies should deserve another appropriate term to distinguish themselves from typical anime) because they know how to set the chessboard up, and do what all great filmmakers do without making these sensitive elements (like sex and violence, honestly, this whole thing is getting repetitive) TOO OBVIOUS. I say 'OBVIOUS', right? Conventional anime is way too OBVIOUS to spew these things out OBVIOUSLY. But not Miyazaki's. Nor Shinichiro Watanabe's excellent shows (Cowboy Bebop, my all-time fav and Samurai Champloo) that blend one genre with another and provide viewers with inappropriate situations, which in turn only show the characters’s highest qualities. Nor Satoshi Kon's unique use of pseudo-psychological issues as its major theme. People mentioned above only use them only when they are deemed necessary, or that the story itself really demands it to show their TRUE purposes to society, not to turn anime into MINDLESS, SEXUAL AND IMMORAL STIMULATING STAGE PLAY!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, it is US who generalize anime as sex and violence (and other crazy terms) by imitating and recycling the themes once helmed by legendary films and cartoons. We glorify them, we worship them and we embrace them. Remember the time when Disney once make 2D cartoons they are always good at? When sing-a-long movies became famous again during the Renaissance era (1990s), studios turn the genre into a trend and thus, every single release adopting the same stuff not only makes us automatically think that every 2D feature is a 'sing-a-long' movie, but also becomes the main agent of the genre's demise. Also not to forget the fact that whenever we hear the word 'Islam', we often think of the people as terrorists and suicide bombers. This can also happen to anime and it’s beginning to wane very quickly. Don't let it become a permanent fallacy. If anime can’t change its direction in later years, discrimination and condemnation will always be inevitable.

This article also signifies the Glenmeister’s return to his blog since Flickr!

It's Flickr Time!

2005-06-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hello, fellow readers!

I just discover something great from animator Ward Jenkins; Flickr is a website that allows you to store and show off your pictures with commentaries and other fun stuff! As for myself, I've created my own 'diary' story called 'Glenibus Upon My Dreams' (some have been posted previously in my blog) so hop on to www.flickr.com, making your own account, show your pics and other stuff! Also, go to people search and type glennybosyboy for the Glenibus! See you on the other side of the dream!

- Glen!

2005-06-01T21:02:00.000-07:00

THE TEENAGE ROBOT FAN COMIC IS COMING! - Oh, yes, fellow readers! The first wave of 'Jenny & The World Robot Competition' will be posted very soon although it's not gonna be shown here! A-Log (the writer of the story) has promised to post whenever possible, so stay tuned as we'll have another update in a few days (or weeks) to come!

2005-05-30T05:35:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HARVEST FESTIVAL! - Or should I say 'Kotobian Tadau Kamaatan' in the another installment of the Teenage Robot fan art collection!

AN EXCLUSIVE REVIEW OF STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH!

2005-05-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

2005-05-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have just watched the final chapter (the third in chronological order) of the popular Star Wars Saga and the verdict? It's PURE SATISFACTION, and I really mean it! Possibly the best Star Wars movie since The Empire Strikes Back, it features a plethora of goodies not usually felt on the previous five. Also, read the review below as I first step into the cinema to experience the Force for the very last time... (This review is also available on the IMDB website. Go vote for it by logging into this address: http://www.imdb.com/user/ur0095638/comments and click on the title!)

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was once a great 'knight' who stood up from his anonymity, learnt everything he saw and conquered all that were then deemed impossible to reach by many. But like any great legends, he too was scarred by the very bitter past that marred his status as a fighter, forcing him to step down and never to come back. However, his sense of determination and enthusiasm was beginning to mend, and like a little child who begins to learn to pick up a stick, he tries to regain his former self, only to stumble several times along his path to redeem himself. At long last, the struggling 'knight' had achieved his goal to become what he used to be many years ago. If you wonder who this 'knight' is, his name is George Lucas, famed director and creator of the popular sci-fi fantasy epic Star Wars, whose 30-year journey has recently ended with a bang with Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. As a treat to fans of the original, they will be delighted that many of the elements that make the original trilogy a classic have returned to this installment to bring a fitting conclusion to one of the most beloved movie sagas in history. That's right, expect the Wookies to make their appearances here, so do the X-Wing/Tie Fighter-like starfighters, Governor Tarkin, the clone troopers that bear their resemblance to stormtroopers, the blockade runner, Darth Vader, the Death Star, etc. Wow.

The movie opens with an incredible space battle over Coruscant (possibly the best I've ever seen so far), followed by series of unexpected fighting sequences and last-minute decisive actions which help build up the anticipation of Sith's overall theme. And if you think these jaw-dropping sequences aren't enough, George has provided some of his greatest tricks yet to be seen. As the Clone Wars reach its zenith, the Jedi Council senses a far greater threat that originates from the core of the Republic but is unable to determine who the real culprit is. Anakin's relationship with Palpatine has become much closer as the Supreme Chancellor tells many of the Sith's unique qualities to his about-to-be apprentice. This further complicates the Council's worsened matters. Elsewhere, Padme begins to get worried about his beloved Anakin who seems to be troubled by the pressure of the Council itself (he is furious when he is not granted the rank of Master) and the political and corrupted principals of the Senate. These dilemmas eventually lead to a climatic showdown filled with emotional depths, unexpected concussions and terrible consequences so powerful, thought-provoking and satisfying that many fans will definitely change their perspective on the original trilogy (no wonder George twitches some details in the original trilogy DVD set) as well as the first two. And it tends to get better as we move along...

Like the previous five, George once again proves his SFX mastery to create compelling worlds and creatures (which in fact look far more realistic this time around), thanks to the talented artists at ILM. Also, the classic John William score remains the significant highlights of Sith with similar tracks from Episodes I, II and IV. Aside from good storyline (we know that already), expect additional improvements including better script, characterizations and acting (thank goodness!). Hayden Christensen, whose portrayal of whining Anakin in Episode II horrifies some fans, finally gets his role right as he manages to express his hatred towards anything that stands in his way. Kudos to Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan Kenobi) and Natalie Portman (Padme) who seem to feel comfortable with their characters as well. And let's not forget the truly delicious Ian McDiarmid as Darth Sidious/Palpatine (you'll never see anything like that before!). Truthfully, this movie will forever be remembered for its switching montages between Padme and Anakin at the end sequences; in fact, they are really the central pieces of the entire movie, whose inevitable destinies separate them on a sad and melancholic note, making way for a new revelation for Episode IV: A New Hope (thanks to its creative smooth editing). Of course, Revenge of the Sith still suffers from the limitations of the prequel trilogy that plagues the first two but the flow of the movie is so compelling and energetic you will tend to forgive and forget its shortcomings.

Due to its political resemblance to the events of 9/11, many viewers wonder if George intends to relate it to the Bush Administration (in which he eventually declines, countering with the fact that democracy usually turns into dictatorship for the sake of power and history tends to repeat itself all over again). Funnily enough, Ronald Reagan once adopted the name Star Wars for promises of peace, so I guess it's a fair exchange.

To sum it up, like Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi, George has finally redeemed himself from the critical mistakes he made in the previous two episodes, producing a true masterpiece that is so worthy it eclipses everything the previous Star Wars movies have provided so far (sorry, Sith, The Empire Strikes Back still remains unmatched). Now that the saga is complete, we all leave the cinema with wide smiles all over our faces. I'm sure George will be pleased by the end results.

2005-05-17T00:12:00.000-07:00

THIS IS THE WEEK OF STAR WARS! - Star Wars fans, rejoice! Revenge of the Sith is about to storm the cinemas this week as people from around the world are preparing for the greatest celebration that has lasted for many years since the release of the original Star Wars movie 28 years ago. This will also be a powerful moment when we all finally bid farewell to George Lucas's popular epic saga for the last time (that excludes the upcoming Star Wars projects). And for those who have been with Star Wars since childhood, the time has come for us to finally 'grow up' and ascend to an unknown future! Be sure to check out Glen's review of one of the best Star Wars film since The Empire Strikes Back! Oh, and while you are watching it, remember that the Force will always be with you!

2005-05-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

JENNY FAN COMIC! - A few days ago, one guy, who calls himself A-Log had approached me via e-mail, saying that he's very impressed with the drawings I've made exclusively for The Teenage Roblog. Also, he wonders if I could be of any help because he has completed his own fanfic based on the same show after rubbing his head for 3, 4 years, something like that. So, it's up for me to create a one-year comic strips (the volumes are massive) so stay tuned for more when I've done anything good!

2005-05-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! - Ok, it's not even Mum's Day yet but this Sunday, the whole world dedicates this moment to all mothers who have given us everything we need in many special ways! We'll always love, you, Mom! For my fan art, just log on to the Teenage Roblog (http://www.teenageroblog.blogspot.com) to view it right now!

PEACE? WHAT PEACE?

2005-05-04T07:42:00.000-07:00

Despite what you hear on TV and radio, these guys are still fighting for many critical reasons including the intrusion of their holy land or whatever that sparks controversy between the feuding nations. I can't tell why it actually happens so but let's assume that everything's back to normal like it used to be ten million years ago, eh? - Glen The Guy Who Is No Politician!

2005-05-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

THE RETURN OF DARTH VADER! - This is the month of Star Wars! After more than two decades since the death of a famous Sith Lord, Darth Vader once again graces the big screens for the first and final time! His former-self Anakin faces an inevitable fate in this newest chapter of the epic series, so do we who can't wait to witness the tragedy, the horror and the dark revelations that lay ahead in a few weeks away! We may already know what happens to our beloved heroes of the Republic. We may already know how Anakin becomes the notorious executor in the universe (in theory only). We may already know how it all leads to the events of Episode IV. But only one question remains tangling: will George Lucas finally get it right after making mistakes in the first two films? Only the Force knows well...

2005-04-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

Glen The Reviewer is back! Look at the article below for more on his latest wave of movie/TV reviews!

2005-04-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Fellow Readers!

Glen The Reviewer has updated his reviews on IMDB at these links:

Star Wars: Clone Wars
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361243/usercomments-30

Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419326/usercomments-15

My Life As A Teenage Robot
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318233/usercomments-21

Johnny Bravo
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118360/usercomments-24

The Five People You Meet In Heaven
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0400435/usercomments-39

Gundam Seed
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0374407/usercomments-13

To rate them, just simply log on to your own IMDB account, click on ‘# comments in total’, simply seek for my said review and click ‘yes’ or ‘no’! Hope you enjoy reading them all!

- Glen!

2005-04-26T19:59:00.000-07:00

SEE JEDI MASTER JENNY DO HER JEDI TRICKS! - See Master Jenny in full action! Curious? In the TR rendition of Revenge of the Sith, she's facing a final showdown with an all too similar enemy! Check it out on http://www.teenageroblog.blogspot.com now! May the Force be with you!

2005-04-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

ANNUNTIO VOBIS GAUDIUM MAGNUM! HEBEMUS PAPAM! - Christians from all over the world, rejoice! The Vatican is pleased to announce that the world now has a new pope! Glen and his alter egos wish to congratulate former cardinal Joseph Ratzinger for becoming the 265th successor to Saint Peter! We all wish him the very best wishes in many years to come! Welcome to the era of Pope Benedict XVI!

2005-04-19T01:17:00.000-07:00

That's gonna take forever, man...

2005-04-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

THE HUNT FOR THE JEDI KNIGHTS IS COMING! - Feeling hungry? Wanna eat some Jedi steak? Then look no further because The Revenge of the Sith, the final installment of the prequel trilogy will storm the cinemas next month! But while waiting for the extermination date, why not check out the catalog in the animated Star Wars: Clone Wars Vol. I and II (the first has been released on DVD in some territories) and even the original trilogy DVD before you could say 'I've a bad feeling about this!' And better embrace yourselves when the time comes because the Battle of Coruscant awaits you!

THE 77TH ACADEMY AWARDS - BEST FIGHTER CATEGORY (FINALLY!)

2005-04-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

Here is one of the shots we took during the secret Oscar event in which the Oscar heavyweights of 2005 fight for the prestigious trophy when this dude (pictured here who turns out to be Glen, Mister Manager) halts the whole thing to say a word or two! (Scroll down for the next shot!)

2005-04-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

Yep! That's what really happened, fellow readers! If you are wondering why it happened so, scroll down for the commentaries by no other than Glen the Interviewer!

2005-04-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

Dear fellow readers,

Glen and his alter egos wish to apologize for not delivering the special Oscar article during the official Oscar event some time ago due to unforeseeable circumstances. Anyway, Glen the Interviewer has compiled every words he's seen with his own eyes and is ready to present you his very commentaries of the eclusive 77th Academy Awards (Best Fighter Category!) Let the drums roll!

Here is an excerpt from the recent events of the elusive 77th Academy Awards (Best Fighter) in a undisclosed location on the first week of March. All of the commentaries are done by reporter Glen The Interviewer who went there all by himself and witnessed the grand fight between the Oscar heavyweights.

'Here we are at a secret studio where Oscar heavyweights such as Ray, Finding Neverland, The Aviator, Million Dollar Baby and Sideways will determine their destiny to win the prestigious Oscar for Best Fighter. The chosen audience (randomly picked via e-mail and handphone messaging or SMS) cheer at their favorite fighters like wild chimpanzees (literally) as each of them make their outstanding poses on the giant ring! Good thing they even bring posters, signboards and flashing green neon lights to give as much support as they can. However, I am told that all of the audience who attend the fight are advised not to tell anything to the common public such as its location, the Oscar that Glen and his alter egos stole from the Academy, etc. Why Glen wishes to tell these in his own blog, well, beats me! But since a few realize of his blog's existence, that won't be a problem!'

'The crowds gradually get wilder and more impatient as the five fighters stood on the sides of the ring, taking additional time to show their awesome poses! Ray glitters with both his trademark glasses and teeth while the Sideways couple maneuver their bottle as if they try to showcase a variety of stylish movements to the viewers! (How they get inside this massive green bottle is beyond my comprehension). The odd male couples have complaint all the way down to the alley about the stinking smell and the month-long irritation around their body parts. Space and even lovesick for their beloved wives are the main reasons for their paranoia. If they were to win an Oscar, what would they do with it? "I think I know how to break free from that f***ing bottle and that is to break it with the statue!" one of the couple says a few moments before entering the ring. Ray Charles (who turns out to be Jamie Foxx), after winning an Oscar for Best Actor, says that he’s never felt happier than everything has in his whole life. "If the real Ray Charles were still alive today, he would be extremely proud of me. I have really made him proud (in the last Oscar event) and this time, I will make him prouder in this next fight, as a legendary musician fighter!" Hilary Swank, as usual, does her boxing poses, endlessly impressing her biggest fans including coach Clint Eastwood (according to him, Mr. Eastwood has become so enchanted with the inspiring speeches she uttered in every film festival that he simply wants to hear MORE of that in the event, if she wins the entire game). Perhaps, she is likely to win an Oscar for Best Fighter as she has won it for the second time as well as other acclaims for her role as a a**-kicking babe. How does Mrs. Swank feel about that? According to her, she really enjoys many great successes since she inherits such a fearsome role last year, hoping soon that she will become a REAL BOXER one day! Additionally, she never stops thanking Mr. Eastwood (obviously) for everything single da*n thing about kicking someone's butt with a good reason, of course! Whether she can beat the odds this time or not, only heavens know! Martin Scorsese, coach for The Aviator, is once again disappointed with the recent loss at the (real) Oscar event, losing all of his bets to Mr. Eastwood. In fact, he has been nominated several times for Best Director in his entire career. The unfortunate director, however, stated that he has never won a single statue despite his exceptional skills at producing some of the greatest movies in film history such as Raging Bull, Taxi, Goodfellas, etc. He, however, never tends to give up trying as he knows he has finally conceived a secret weapon. "So near yet so far. But with Leo DiCaprio in my hands, I know I will eventually reach for the golden stars! Oscar, here I go!" Leo, star of the fallen Titanic and the Gangster of Old New York, has even striven to kick everyone’s butts with his stylized plane as Howard Hughes, master of all that flies faster than a speeding bullet! And here he comes! Hughes' Aviator zooms across the ring in unbelievable speed, leaving the rest of his audience dazzled! Wait a minute! The chanting of the audience has begun to fade quickly! What is happening out there? Oh wait, everyone is looking at a man in his 1800s outfit. How dated. Why can’t he find a far more fashionable suit than that? Simply, Sir Barrie is a very simple man. But with great imaginations! I am told that he can visualize his creations as his own fighters, and that makes for a perfect teamwork! Clever idea, Sir Barrie! However, I can only see a few chanting for their classic icon of literature. I guess these are done by those who have loved Peter Pan for so long they never actually quit thinking about all of the adventures in Neverland. It is quite sad that no many people have read or heard of Peter Pan these days. But just imagine Sir Barrie as a ferocious fighter, despite his passiveness and naivete. That way, he can actually attract younger generations by reinventing the concept of Neverland! (Oh wait, that reminds me of the new Peter Pan movie, which actually stinks) Anyway, that's showbiz, folks.'

'Oh wait, the bell's ringing at this instant, signaling the first bout! Cool, I can't wait to see what these fighters have in their sleeves! Right now, our referee is entering the ring, making sure that everything is running smoothly. The fighters have all the necessary skills they need. Now, their final destinies await them. And here they go!'

'The Sideways couple rolls their bottle down the ground to squash their closest opponent, the Million Dollar Babe. However, she is able to counter the attack by simply punching it! The bottle ricochets in the sky and hits the Aviator instead! Ohhh, that really hurts a lot! However, the Aviator doesn't have a single scratch on its surface! Made of strong materials, the plane continues to fly, rocketing into its target Ray. Ray may be not able to see what's going on out there but his hearing is acute. He's showing his shiny teeth to stunt Howard who is piloting the Aviator! Only then will he be able to play the piano like some mad musician who knows how to irritate an audience like Howard! The plane's engine goes haywire due to the strong vibration from the loud piano sound. Mayday! Mayday! It is going down! Don't worry fellow viewers! Mr. Hughes has the ability to fix the engine within a few seconds and the Aviator's rising like the phoenix! Meanwhile, Sir Barrie is still standing on one side of the ring and none of his boys is yet to be seen. Looks like he is having a big problem bringing his illusions into the realm of reality. He could have done that before the fight begins. According to Sir Barrie, however, focusing on a particular thing during intense situations proves to be very difficult and mind cracking! Whoah, talk about mind blowing stuff!'

'The crowds continue to cheer endlessly as superboxing babe packs mighty punches to the Sideways bottle! They would love to let her crack the bottle but without it, the Oscar would not be theirs! And so, one of the couple whispers to the nearby contender Ray. A form of bribery will definitely help them to escape from the Babe's fatal punches! Ray seems to be delighted with an idea to have a Champaign by taking the couple's bottle and hitting her on the head. And so he does! Oww, the Million Dollar Babe is not very pleased with Ray's action therefore she taunts him to the ground with her mighty glove! Finally, Sir Barrie has finally brought the bad boys of Neverland back to life! Wow! Look at the speed of these little fellows as they fly across the stadium! With a few passes around the ring, the four contenders are stunted; the boxing babe falls flat on her face, the Aviator suddenly loses control (some kid puts a hole on the fuel tank), the Sideways couple are being kicked off like a football and Ray is upset with one of the Neverland boy's inability to play piano. Mr. Hughes uses his old-fashioned camera to record the whole situation while summoning massive hoards of warplanes! That calls for a dogfight! (Literally, wild dogs suddenly appear from nowhere, joining the fun!) As a result, total chaos ensures!'

'Hey! What is that kid doing in the middle of the ring? Hey, hey! Who allows him to join the fight? Get him out of here! That guy is not even an Oscar fighter, dude! Oh, wait a minute! He is stretching his hands and is about to say something that may change the world forever...'

"STOOOOPPP!"

'Whoah! Everyone in this stadium, including the Oscar fighters, suddenly comes to a halt. Surely, this kid has some kind of a magic spell to attract their attention. Let's take a closer look at the kid and oh my gosh! Could this little guy be Glen, the one who manages the whole fight?'

"Ladies and gentlemen! I decide to interrupt this program to tell you one thing! I know how much you love those stuff that come tumbling down to face a horrific conflict between the ones you have loved for some time since their initial releases. However, the clashes between two or more perfectly good movies are equivalent to choosing the one and only movie that deserves to be the REAL winner! For me, you Oscar heavyweights are the real WINNERS! Yes, you are all the real champions of the 77th Annual Academy Awards and this is already quite enough for me!"

'The whole crowds are whispering to each other, signifying the fact that they are already confused with Glen’s courageous speech. Even our favorite heavyweights are befuddled with this rather unexpected last-minute situation. Oh boy.'

"Listen, everyone! These movies, not fighters, are created not only to entertain you all but also conveying the very messages that are derived from their themes. They enlighten our hearts, minds and souls as well as to give us another chance to make ourselves a better person. We also should be thankful to these truly dedicated directors and the rest of these incredible crews for creating such stories of credible believability and inspiring characters! Whoever turns them into money-eating machines is a monster to the film industry! I know we all need money to make movies but investing too much credit into our trousers is an awful excuse! I recommend you to leave this place and never to manipulate the true ultimate power of filmmaking!"

'What? What the heck is he talking about? He tells us to abandon the stadium? No! This can't be! Unbelievable! And hey, even the crowds boo at him for making such outrageous about the current film industry! Yeah, to hell with Glen, that is! Ha ha! And just look at the faces of the fighters! They seem to be impatient with his mind-boggling speech as well! And off they go to finish the bout of all bouts!'

'Oh! The situation is so tense that even we can’t see what is happening right now! Everything's filled with dust, I say! Oh, what may happen to them all next!'

(A few minutes later)

'Pheew! Now that's what I call a real fight! Now that the dust is gradually subsiding, we can expect the sole winner very soon and what? What the heck… Oh, gosh, I believe what I am looking at, ladies and gentlemen! It turns out that Glen is the only survivor in the ring who actually squeezes out of the predicament without a single scratch! The rest of the heavyweights, however, seem to have their butts kicked out single-handedly by Glen himself! Way to go, Mr. Manager!'

'Hilary Swank ends up having blue-blacks around her body, the Aviator's down, the Sideways duo have finally got out of the darn bottle (with dreadful consequences! Ouch!), Ray Charles passes away and Sir Barrie and his bad boys of Neverland are out of business.'

'It is obvious that the Oscar eventually goes to Glen! Congratulations, superboy! You really deserve the Oscar!' (For his victory pose, look at the screenshot below!)

- Glen The Interviewer

2005-04-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

YOU DA MAN, GLEN!!!

2005-04-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

LET THE ROYAL WEDDING BEGIN! - No, I don't mean the marriage between Prince Charles and Camilla! It's Jenny and Brad from the hit Nick Toon series! The responses are incredible: there are some who don't think that Jenny should fall in love with the handsome lad, the same goes to the real-life royal couple! Check out my fourth fan art at http://www.teenageroblog.blogspot.com right now!

WHO KNOWS? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!

2005-04-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

Anyway, Glen and his alter egos wish to congratulate his Royal Highness Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles (now the Duchess of Cornwall) for their recent marriage yesterday. Wish them all the best throughout the coming years!

THE REVENGE BEGINS NOW!

2005-04-08T06:35:00.000-07:00

Asian Star Wars fans rejoice! Cartoon Network will unleash the Force this month with Star Wars: Clone Wars Vol. II, which will premiere on April 18! (For American viewers, though, I bet you may have seen them around last month via cable or starwars.com, but I just mention it in case you are just wondering.) Based on the popular six-part saga by George Lucas, this show focuses entirely on the events of the Clone Wars (full-scale battles between the mechanized Separatists and the Army of the Republic), chronicling the adventures of Anakin Skywalker, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu and the rest of the characters from the first two prequel films (fortunately, Jar Jar Binks is not one of them!).

Directed by renowned animator Genndy Tartakovsky, Star Wars: Clone Wars shares the same qualities and style of Samurai Jack (only slightly faster and better) while maintaining the very essence and spirit of the Star Wars mythology. If you miss the first season of Clone Wars, you will be able to watch them all over again, starting tomorrow and 17 April (check your local listings), the later being one day before the premiere of Volume II (18-23 April). Be sure to watch them all before the revenge begins on 19 May! (C)Cartoon Network & Lucasfilm.

A FEW SPECIAL AND FINAL GLIMPSES AT OUR BELOVED POPE JOHN PAUL II

2005-04-06T05:06:00.000-07:00

These two pictures below are taken by my mum and some of her family members during a special mass in the Vatican two years ago when the Pope was still very much alive. Although I didn't have the chance to join their trip to Europe (I was still studying in the university at that time, unfortunately) and experience a rare sensation with the Pope, these two pictures have proven that despite his recent death, he seems to be very much 'alive'... within the memories that will live on forever.

2005-04-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

Ciao, our dearest Father.

A TRULY EXTRAORDINARY POPE: POPE JOHN PAUL II (1920-2005)

2005-04-02T18:12:00.000-08:00

Glen and his alter egos wish to express deep sorrow at the passing of Pope John Paul II. After hours of enduring the illnesses inside his residence at the Vatican, the Pope has finally returned to the Lord a few moments before this article is written. Despite the sufferings throughout his lifetime, he has shown many of his extraordinary qualities to the world, something that no predecessors have done before. He is indeed a symbol of humanity, a true champion of peace and of course, the most beloved family member this Old World has ever had... and seen. We all will be going to miss him for a very long time but we must not forget the incredible contributions and the very legacy the Pope provides for the last 26 years. May the Pope rest in peace. Amen.

2005-03-31T21:18:00.000-08:00

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF APRIL! - And apparently, I seem to be running out of good ideas... (Scroll Down to see the consequences of thinking too hard!)

2005-03-31T21:15:00.000-08:00

SPLLAAATT! (Scroll Down To See What Really Happens to Glen The Boy In The Stick Hat!)

2005-03-31T21:12:00.000-08:00

That almost frightens ye, doesn't it?

A SPECIAL TREAT TO FELLOW READERS: MY VERY OWN ANIMATED PROJECT CALLED "A RAY OF HOPE"

2005-03-29T05:23:00.000-08:00

For those who are still not convinced of my ability as a filmmaker and animator, this is your chance to see some of screenshots of my animated project, A Ray Of Hope, which was shown in Multimedia University, Malaysia last year. It is an amalgamation of several animation techniques that are often used in the animation industry today but rather, it is more of a personal story than anything else. In fact, I am really proud of my masterpiece (despite its dodgy editing and bizarre shots connections) because it is one of the best way to personalize my own drawing skills and even my own filmmaking style (many of the students there applaused after listening to my reasons for making this film). Here, many of the shots you see down here are actually seen and felt within the artist's POV (that's me). It's about birth and death, resurrection, destruction and revelations, all shown within our very own consciousness and so on.

So, are you ready for 19 juicy screenshots as seen on my own masterpiece? The journey begins right below here!

2005-03-29T05:20:00.000-08:00

The Title Card.

2005-03-29T05:18:00.000-08:00

The Very Beginning of This Story...

2005-03-29T05:16:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the world of Flower Girl.

2005-03-29T05:12:00.000-08:00

The Flower Girl is sleeping...

2005-03-29T05:09:00.000-08:00

The Guardians guide the Flower Girl to fly from her mother's petal-like womb.

2005-03-29T05:06:00.000-08:00

The Flower Girl shows her real power to her own realm...

2005-03-29T05:03:00.000-08:00

The Spikes start killing the guardians of the Flower Girl.

2005-03-29T05:01:00.000-08:00

The Spikes have intrude the Flower Mum and her daughter's realm, followed by an even more terrifying consequences of reality...

2005-03-29T04:54:00.000-08:00

Destruction...

2005-03-29T04:53:00.000-08:00

... and Revelations.

2005-03-29T04:43:00.000-08:00

The boy just stares at the ball as it rolls back and forth and so on. Oh, even day changes to night and vice versa at the same time...

2005-03-29T04:37:00.000-08:00

My own definition of 'Greed'...

2005-03-29T04:26:00.000-08:00

An unsuspected victim gets a brutal bashing by a cruel officer...

2005-03-29T04:22:00.000-08:00

The final kiss - in claymation!

2005-03-29T04:17:00.000-08:00

With a few blessing from the good souls of the past... (In fact, these people are my relatives!)

2005-03-29T04:14:00.000-08:00

The Spike Master has fallen at last!

2005-03-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

The Flower Girl has risen from the very ashes of evil...

2005-03-29T04:04:00.000-08:00

Everything has returned to its former form...

2005-03-29T04:01:00.000-08:00

The flower finally regains its glory, forever shining within the very core of our lives. The End!

2005-03-27T05:52:00.000-08:00

HAPPY EASTER DAY! - You have no idea what is inside this egg...

2005-03-25T05:57:00.000-08:00

OH, JENNY, NO! - XJ9's in a dreadful predicament! Why, you may wonder? Just check out my third fan art in The Teenage Roblog (www.teenageroblog.blogspot.com) to find out what happens to our Blue Friend!

GREAT INSPIRATIONS: SI BONGOK TANJUNG PUTERI (THE HUNCHBACK OF TANJUNG PUTERI)

2005-03-22T23:29:00.000-08:00

When we think of something we want to create, we need to acquire some inspirations from everything we have seen and admired. Genndy Tartakovsky, creator of Samurai Jack, gets his inspirations for his hit cartoon series from Conan the Barbarian while George Lucas, renown director of Star Wars, acquires most of the movies' ideas from his most beloved childhood TV series, Flash Gordon. For me, there have so many things that I have loved and admired (especially the ones that really open my mind for showcasing their unique features and ultimately capture my heart at the end) and yet, in this blog, I have something that you have never seen before: a four-page comic strip from a once popular magazine, Gila-Gila (it literally means Mad, a Malaysian equivalent to the insanely popular US magazine of the same name). The Hunchback of Tanjung Puteri, as translated from its Malay title, is drawn and written by professional cartoonist Asan who also has created two of Gila-Gila's beloved characters, Jaki Jipang and Pendekar Jaki (Jaki the Fighter). As you can see the four panels below, Tanjung Puteri depends more on a dramatic point of view (which is similar to Samurai Jack, of course). One of the elements that intrigues me most is its bold outlines that signifies the crudeness and the personalities of these characters. Due to the fact that Tanjung Puteri is divided into several parts (similar to Justice League in which you have to wait for another day or month to check out the actual outcome), I am unable to finish the whole series. However, the only thing I know about this comic strip is that it is going to have a tragic ending, so sad that you will easily be convinced after reading it all the way. Since it is all written in Malay (it is going to take a while to translate everything), I will explain what each of these panels is trying to say.

In this panel, a friend of the Hunchback is killed by a bunch of British officers (this takes place in Singapore). The Hunchback cries back as he witnesses the killing. Trying not to be shot down, he disappears into the sky as the officers wonder where their next target has gone. Later, the Hunchback reappears, hitting the poor English hotel owner (the one with his excessive English) in his face. Eventually, the Brit dies instantly. (Scroll down for the second panel)

2005-03-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

In front of the Hunchback are the two officers who are preparing their weapons to eliminate him. However, they are no match for the Hunchback's incredible speed. Upset with the entire situation, he demands those murder his friend to step out of the buildings. One idiot comes to comfort him, saying that they are not meant to kill him but rather a decision made by God. (Scroll down for panel three)

2005-03-22T23:21:00.000-08:00

The Hunchback becomes even more furious with this outrageous quote. In a flash, he throws his keris (small dagger) which eventually hits the idiot's head. The perpetrator, Megan Imran (panel three in this picture), realizes that the whole thing doesn't go as planned, deciding to escape from the town undetected. The remaining officers too try to escape but the Hunchback is able to taunt one of them and kill him. Later, he jumps over the last two members... (Scroll down for last panel)

2005-03-22T23:16:00.000-08:00

...and eventually does his silat (a Malay fighting stance, just like kungfu) move. The two are taunted; one of them has his ear being pulled by the Hunchback while he cries out, "Please, listen to me..." Unfortunately, he just dies off while muttering funny words like, "I have told him to listen to me but he is still willing to kill me! I hate it when he does that every time!" The final member is now completely alone, running for his fragile life. However, the Hunchback ends it all. Standing mightily in front of his comrade, he swears that he will avenge his friend's death by killing the perpetrator, Megat Imran. He too regrets that he doesn't kill Imran when they were both in Tanjung Puteri. Knowing that Imran may be still inside one of the buildings, he urges him to step out and fight like a man. TO BE CONTINUED...

Unfortunately, I don't have the rest of the episodes in my hands but one of the best reasons of showing this is to understand more of this truly unique Malaysian comic, which in fact has a decent story, dramatic characters and some truly dark qualities. It's a pity that everything here has been replaced with anime (even Americans have embraced it, something that not even legendary animator Gene Deitch knows!); typical RPG characters with big eyes and over the top humor elements. It is not really that I hate anime. It is just that I highly suggest everyone to figure out their own identities such as Hayao Miyazaki, Satoshi Kon, Otomo and more. Here in Malaysia, we have our own identity and culture (even with some minor influences from foreign stuff, that is quite OK), something that should not be abandoned. That is why I am willing to continue embracing these things even if nobody is interested in reading these kinds of comic strips anymore. Next time, I am going to show you another comic strip, done by a legendary Malaysian cartoonist (aside from Lat). So stay tune!

MAN OF THE DAY: JERRY VERSCHOOR

2005-03-17T21:37:00.000-08:00

Meet Jerry, a former animator of Disney and Dreamworks and also a great Aussie pal of mine who had actually been involved in several animated projects such as The Prince of Egypt, The Road to El Dorado, The Adventures of Winny the Pooh and The Thief and the Cobbler (he was only an in-betweener, by the way). We first met in Multimedia University in Malaysia a few years ago and since then, he had taught me and my entire class how to create decent animation, given us some inspiring notes on how some of the finest animated classics change the face of the world, etc. That's how he changes the way I perceive things as well as my perspective on cartooning and filmmaking. Some time after he left the university (aside from other projects he conceived and directed in Malaysia), he went on to animate sequences in Blinky Bill in Australia and then later to China to do the same favorite stuff, this time with his Chinese animator friend! (That's what he currently looks like as shown in this picture: he regains his groovy 80s style by letting his hair grow! Wow!) He also has set up his own website called Jerry's Website Live (http://www.users.bigpond.com/cortina/jerry.htm). Filled with actual sketches for the movies, never-seen-before personal artworks and poems, fans of animation will definitely want to know more about this awesome guy!- Glen!

2005-03-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

JENNY STRIKES AGAIN! - My second fan art featuring Jenny is now online on The Teenage Roblog (www.teenageroblog.blogspot.com) under the tagline JENNY KICKS BUTT! Here, she is kicking aliens' butts skyhigh! Hope you enjoy it!

BEYOND ED WOOD AND OTHER B-MOVIES: MISTERI BALAN-BALAN (MYSTERIES OF THE GHOULS/SOMETHING GOT TO DO WITH SCARY CREATURES, I DON'T KNOW): THE REVIEW

2005-03-14T10:19:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOSH, JUST LOOK AT THE APPEARANCE OF THIS THING - This package design doesn't look professional at all. The inappropriate use of colors, fonts and other graphical elements; they just look plain messy, something a college student would do with Photoshop to sell his product, even if he realizes that it won't sell at all.

2005-03-14T10:17:00.000-08:00

AND WHAT WE HAVE HERE - This front package even claims that it has won some of the most prestigious awards in the world: the OSCARS! Unbelievable? Believe it

2005-03-14T10:06:00.000-08:00

I bet you fellow readers out there have seen many dreadful B-movies of the 40s, the 50s, the 80s and so on, including the classic Ed Wood films which have created a cult of its own inside the Western community. In fact, there also lie the horrors of awful filmmaking outside the US shores (you can probably find some of them on the Internet, if you are lucky) which are mostly underrated, under appreciated and overlooked by common public of the world. Perhaps, you would like to dig deep into the mass markets of the East where filmmaking is never a common practice among creative Asian people, especially in a country called Malaysia (they only know how to sing and sing and sing, dangnabbit). Anyway, let us see what I have in my sleeves. But before we begin, I would like to ask you an honest question: have you seen any of the films produced and released in Malaysia? No? I know you don't. But what you don't know is that most of the films (especially the new ones. I myself respect the ancient filmmakers who made some quality films if not all of them. One of the finest is P.Ramlee, pioneer of Malaysian filmmaking. Never heard of him? Just check him out on the Internet.) are utter and complete crap. So crappy they have no idea how to develop the characters. They don't even know how to take tasty shots (flat out 1D pictures between two, three people, that's it), how to make decent sound effects (they simply repeat the same punching sound again and again, even if it is not loud, they tend to make it loud), how to compose their own soundtrack (they simply steal some tracks from The Lord of the Rings, JFK, Titanic, etc), how to make a decent script (the actors sound as if they are reading a text book), how to do cinematography (obviously they simply put the lights on and shoot them without question), how to direct the actors (they are only told to scream like chickens without expressing any real emotions), bla bla bla! That sounds like a common practice among amateurs but I am not talking about America or Britain or Japan or any places in the world. I am talking about Malaysia and you will expect the same awful quality in every film it makes! What surprises me is that most Malaysians have at least one unique talent and that is singing! No matter how old they are, you can expect a 9-year-old kid to imitate the singing voice of Mariah Carey, Britney Spears or whoever weirdoes you can think of. If they know how to sing a good song, why on earth can't they make a single, decent movie like most produced by acclaimed directors like Akira Kurosawa, Steven Spielberg, David Lynch, Jean-Pierre Jeunet and others we have heard on media? My guess is that they only know how to make money, quantity and anything fancy out of the output, not quality.

If you loathe the concept of direct-to-videos, maybe you should loathe them more. This has become a usual practice in Malaysia (they always have a nasty habit of stealing other people’s idea and using it as their own) and that still doesn’t improve the movie industry. Many bad titles in VCD format (very crappy video quality with pixels and lower resolutions compared to DVDs. Many movies are sliced up into 2,3 discs and shown in full frame. That ruins the viewing atmosphere. Also, following the trend of pirated copies, some idiots have included English and Malay subtitles and there is no way to turn them off! Why don't they just shift to the DVD format anyway?) are left untouched in the shelves. Perhaps, the customers know which movies are worth the money they hold in their hands and which ones are not. If you think movies such as Starship Troopers 2, George of the Jungle 2 and any sequels to the Disney classics are barely watchable, think again.

Take a good look at one of the direct-to-videos released exclusively in Malaysia. Based on the true accounts of witnesses who visit a town called Kota Belud in Sabah (one of the 14 states of Malaysia) and have actually experienced horrible encounters with the ghosts that roam at night. It has usually got to do with sucking the blood out of their victims and even flying heads (my mum tells me that most of these incidents are real but I still deny the fact anyway). The only way to scare away these ghosts is to use the lime fruits as your special shield (similar characteristic to garlic to fend off Dracula). Basically, that's the entire concept of this truly inept and dire movie (entitled Misteri Balan-Balan or Mysteries of the Dark Creatures or something) about a reporter, a bunch of villagers, some truly unnecessarily irritating characters, a frogman and (do not even try to gasp at this one) a flying head. If you don't still believe me, take a glimpse at the pics I apply from the CD in my PC, posted down after this review. You will not believe what you see in front of your eyes. Depression is all you will get as you watch along.

Right, back to the review. Aside from bad acting and amateurish special effects (so few and yet so bad), the whole movie feels scattered at best due to the fact that some of the scenes are left unexplained and they don't seem to have connections with each other (what is the point of having a flying head when it does nothing more than just flying around the garden? Why is everyone flying like Superman in the middle of the movie? What is the other importance of these whiny students who are supposed to write a thesis on ghosts, aside from being a catalyst to this whole fear factor? And what has the dead baby bird got to do with the WHOLE MOVIE AFTER ALL?!!). Like most horror movies made in Asia (they have been imitated countless times for generations), none of these sequences make any sense unless you are too dumb to appreciate good movies and decide to watch it anyway. The script, like the characters themselves, is just plain dull while linear editing only tends to confuse the audiences further rather than giving them the chills they deserve. Because censorship is so strict in Malaysia, the producers actually play it safe by excluding all sorts of inappropriate elements such as blood, suggestive themes and of course, very disturbing images. This is a horror movie, for heaven's sake!

Perhaps, you will definitely be surprised with this trivia: this movie claims to have won the prestigious Oscar PPFM awards for Best Art Director, Best Special Effect, Best Cameraman and A Participation Festival Film Foreign 2004, according to the front package! This is hardly believable! Truly inconceivable! Oh, wait a minute! Some dudes who write such claims forget that the Academy Awards is only for motion pictures, documentary and short animation, not direct-to-videos! Also, there are some mistakes within these claims: there is no such thing as Best Cameraman, the Oscar actually goes to The Return of the King for Best Special Effect in 2004, Art Director is supposed to be called Art Direction and the words 'Festival Film Foreign' doesn't even sound right (that's Foreign Film, moron). And what the heck is PPFM? Does anyone know that the Academy itself is joining forces with the Malaysian film industry to create their own movie festival? Unfortunately, I just buy this awful VCD to check out if whatever claims they make are correct. I am afraid I have made the wrong impressions after all. No doubt they just simply make them up to ensure major big bucks, no matter how many lies they can make. The only best way to make a decent movie, in my own experience, is to watch tons of good movies, understand the principles of filmmaking and create your very own personality! It is quite simple as that!

If you are still not completely convinced, check out 15 screenshots of pure agony below as proof! (Unfortunately, the video quality is very bad so they all look very dark and pixilated)

2005-03-14T10:04:00.001-08:00

ARRRGGHHH! - Scientists have indicated that those who watch 'Misteri Balan-Balan' suffer from strange symptoms such as frequent nightmares, lack of sleeping and teeth gritting. Talk about scaring your own kids at night!

2005-03-14T10:04:00.000-08:00

FREAKY LASER EYES - One of the many horrible special effects implemented specially for this movie. Whether this elder is possessed by a demonic entity or doing the Superman laser thing, I cannot really tell.

2005-03-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

LOOK OVER THERE! IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! NO! IT'S... - A flying head with intestines attached to the neck . Wow. I cannot believe what I see with my own eyes. Unless you believe that some kids out there are willing to play some pranks just to scare the villagers away. Kids these days...

2005-03-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

FWWTT! - One of those quality shots that actually show how potential this movie can be. The girl's serene and yet mysterious expression add much to this almost powerful scene, especially when her eyes are connected to his father, also another powerful shot (not shown in this blog). Too bad, this exceptional funeral scene is the only saving grace to this horrific junk.

2005-03-14T09:57:00.000-08:00

OH, SUPERMAN, WHERE ART THOU? - I am afraid that the movie you are currently watching is not Superman IV. Rather, it is a story about a skinny reporter and other mundane characters who are inspecting a mysterious case involving the existence of ghouls, flying heads and other wicked creatures in a small isolated town. If you are not fancied with ghost stories, however, it is still not too late to change the disc in your video player and watch the inept battle between Nuclear Man and the Man of Steel instead. Either way, depression is all you will get in the end. Unless you are the type of person who is willing to endure the pain while watching any bad movie, it is highly recommended that you should steer away from these two depressing movies. - Lemony Snicket

2005-03-14T09:56:00.000-08:00

HEY, LOOK DOWN, DUDES! IT'S THE GOLLYWOG DOLL! - What a pain in the a**. Nuff said.

2005-03-14T09:53:00.000-08:00

WOOOO - Only some idiotic viewers will squirm and scream like some little girls as they watch this rather typical ghostly expression of her.

2005-03-14T09:49:00.000-08:00

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS - If you think that way, then you are wrong. In fact, this frogman carries the body of an old man from a nearby house. Truthfully, I find most of these flying sequences very funny...

2005-03-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

THE FROGMAN STRIKES BACK! - This time, he is on the roof as he unleashes his long red tongue (too bad the quality of this shot is terrible)...

2005-03-14T09:46:00.000-08:00

...to pick up the old man's body (who dies shortly before this bizarre scene)! This is more of an amateurish magic show for mind-drooling kids than Spider-Man's attempt to bring Mr. Osborne's body back to the mansion.

2005-03-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

SCI-FI NONSENSE - I cannot really tell if 'Misteri Balan-Balan' is based on a true story or not; in fact, the whole chase the frogman thing gets pretty ridiculous. Perhaps the most obvious is when one of those pursuers unleashes a bright plasma ball from his hand. Yes, it just happens without a good darn reason at all! Just look at this one...

2005-03-14T09:38:00.000-08:00

...followed by this shot! Holy bad SFX!

2005-03-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

THE CULPRIT REVEALS HIMSELF! - It's the frogman, in his human form, who has finally been captured and exorcised by the villagers in this shot. Here, he seems to puke out a strange entity from his mouth...

2005-03-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

IT'S A DEAD BABY BIRD! - Yes, ladies and gentlemen! It's a dead baby bird and it's real! (It reminds me of a particular episode of My Life As A Teenage Robot in which an evil robot queen implants a nasty bug inside poor Jenny's belly!) Animal activists, however, are not impressed with this scene.

2005-03-14T09:27:00.000-08:00

AND NOW, IT'S THE WORLD EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW OF STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH! - No! That's not Anakin Skywalker with his glowing Sith eyes! It's one of the supporting actresses who turns out to be the flying head at the end of the movie! She may look cool with these spooky eyes but she is no Storm. End of Reel!

- Glen The Movie Reviewer

2005-03-12T04:16:00.000-08:00

CARICATURE OF THE DAY: DATO SERI ABDULLAH AHMAD BADAWI - This is Malaysia's fifth Prime Minister. If you have no idea about him, well, you can check him on the Wikipedia to know more about this great leader. About two years ago, Pak Lah (as Malaysians often call him) was appointed as the new Prime Minister after former PM Dato Seri Dr. Mahathir Mohammed ran the office for more than 2 decades. Pak Lah, now in his 2nd year, continues to inherit the legacies of his predecessors in which so far have done good deeds to our country. Hurray to Pak Lah!

"WHEN DREAMS WERE FOREVER YOUNG... : PART II"

2005-03-06T07:42:00.000-08:00

*Readers who miss out the first part can read this month's previous post right down here! Just keep looking for the same title!*

By the time I reached there, the very first thing I saw was a giant tall tree standing mightily among the blooming flowers. I tried to reach it with my own hands but the blue fences barred me from doing so. "Touch me! Touch me!" I heard these little words uttered from the little flowers. I wonder what they meant by that. "If you touch my children, they will forever love you. Cherish them and they will cherish you back," said the giant tree which almost succeeded in alluring me to her own dreamworld...

"Better not touch them, boy! Somebody tried to warn me from behind. If you do, there is no turning back. Their scent, appearance and lust will forever manifest your mind. You will waste your time thinking about them without doing anything else at all!" I steered away from the fences the moment she mentioned it. I turned my head around, looking at an old lady who seemed to be holding a flower. If my memory served me correctly, she was in her mid-60s, wearing a dark red outfit and a primitive black glass.

2005-03-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

"Hello, boy! I am the flower lady who oversees all kinds of beautiful flowers in this garden. Tiring, yes but also equally enjoyable as well. I have spent my entire life smelling their scent, appreciating their unique characteristics and most importantly, taking good care of them all. Even with those that attempt to kill me. But there is nothing to worry about. Please follow me, boy. You will be more enchanted as we walked through this pavement."

2005-03-06T07:31:00.000-08:00

Man, was this tour an enjoyable ride! However, there were even irritating things that the flower lady would do, especially when she wanted to smell the flower that she spotted nearby.

Truthfully, that was her obsession. By the time we toured the entire garden, the flower lady told me of a secret plant that bloomed more than a thousand pink flowers. "It is true that this 1000-year-old plant has the ability to grant you one special wish. Just pick one of them and think of one of your desires. Be warned though that picking more than one flower will bring a terrible curse to you and even your entire dream you have struggled to build. Choose your path wisely. Only the ones with the heart of the child can go there. Don't you, my dear boy?" I just kept my mouth shut tight but the flower lady knew more than just my mere appearance.

2005-03-06T07:26:00.000-08:00

Lo and behold! As fully described by the flower lady, the wishing tree looked truly magnificent! It shone brightly as the moon and the sun, with sparkling tiny stars that danced before my very eyes. "Choose your path wisely. Only the ones with the heart of the child can go there." Heeding this very important advice, I took a few steps in front of the tree, picked one of the flowers and covered it between my palms. However, I thought it would be better if I just reserved it inside my old wallet. The flower lady smiled as I returned to her. "Very wise, boy. Sometimes it is better to keep this very wish until you think of a better one. Very wise." And so, I thanked her for everything she showed me before leaving for the next part of my adventure...

Next Article: Beyond The Garden of the Flower Lady...

2005-03-04T19:01:00.000-08:00

CARICATURE OF THE DAY: SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH - Some readers who know much of the natural aspects of nature may know this guy, Sir Attenborough, a British naturalist who currently comes to my country, Sabah, for a special research on Giant Bees or Aids Dosata in latin. Why do I choose him as the picture of the day, you ask? Well, since he frequently visits Sabah whenever he wishes to because of one thing: Sabah holds so many things that most advanced countries have lost. A truly remarkable documentary filmmaker and an author of some books based on nature, I have posted his caricature as a special tribute to this awesome guy! (Though I know him for the first time while seeing his real pic on a newspaper a few days ago!)

2005-03-01T07:33:00.000-08:00

Glen's Exclusive Interview With The President Himself!

And The Razzie Goes To...

2005-03-01T07:11:00.000-08:00

Who else? US President George W. Bush won the Golden Raspberry Award for worst actor in Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11, beating the likes of Vin Diesel (Riddick the Lame) and Colin Farrell (Alexander the Dud)! It is definitely one of the 'happiest' moments for Dubya and we are extremely pleased to share an exclusive interview with the President himself! For those who are unaware of his recent secrets, prepare to be embraced! You have been warned!

Glen The Interviewer: Congratulations for winning the Raspberry Award for worst actor, Mr. President!

President Dubya: Thank you, Glen! I had never felt happier before since I was the first in movie history to participate the Razzie ceremony, enduring endless waves of pathetic performances by a bunch of losers before actually accepting the Raspberry a few minutes later! (The rest of the actors refused to take part, mind you!)

GTI: Uhmm, I don’t really want to disappoint you, Mr. President but the first person who actually did that was Tom Green.

(long silence)

PD: What?

GTI: Not a what, but a who, Mr. President. That weird guy who often appears in MTV as well as other stand-up comedies on TV. You seen him?

(another long silence)

PD: D**n that guy. And his outrageous jokes.

GTI: I am also told that Fahrenheit 9/11 received three other awards for worst couple (Dubya paired with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice), worst supporting actor (Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld) and worst supporting actress, Britney Spears! That's an additional triple ‘whammy’ for Moore’s anti-Bush documentary, Mr. President!

PD: Thank you once again, Glen! Actually, I am feeling much better when this propaganda receives recent bashing from the Razzie Foundation, despite the fact that it has won several awards internationally (In fact, Moore has been making a fool of himself since his crazy anti-Bush speech during the previous Academy Awards.) And do you know why everyone outside the US loves this 'junk'? Well, I'll tell you what: the whole world is known for criticizing the US policy, the Iraq War, the Gulf War, the Space Race, everything we Americans have fought for the last 100 years! To tell you the truth, these foreigners are jealous of us and they all want to be the next superpower houses of the next generation, something that we all try to prevent!

GTI:...

PD: Especially the ones who say that America must be perished for its arrogance or something... I dunno if that's gonna happen ever since the 9/11 tragedy. So far, we just receive threats from the terrorists on all sides. However, nothing is done on purpose.

GTI: Well, I have heard some news concerning your secret conversations with some guy who states that you are not worthy enough to become a President of some sort? Additionally, I heard that you also tried on drugs once when you were a kid, don't you, Mr. President?

PD: That's truly absurd! Who told you about that, Glen?

GTI: The whole world naturally knows, Mr. President.

PD: ...

GTI: I guess we push our subject too far, Mr. President.

PD: Perhaps you are right, Glen. Whatever you hear about me is pure bullcrap, OK? And to our fellow American children, don't try to imitate what I did in the past, even if these are just lies, OK?

GTI: Hmm, fine. Anyway, since your fellow comrades have won the Razzies, do you have anything to say to them?

PD: Oh yes! I wish to thank Secretary of State Condoleezaa Rice for supporting my campaign throughout the last election! Also, I would like to thank her for supporting my determination to eradicate all forms of terrorism while refurbishing our very own policy to make America a safer place to live! Defense Secretary
Donald Rumsfeld also helped us in finding and establishing ideas to create newer weapons and other necessities to defend our lands from the likes of Al-Qaeda and beyond! And lastly but not least, the talented singer Britney Spears for actually making a mockery of HER OWN COUNTRY'S POLICY while CHEWING BUBBLE GUMS in front of the media! (And she REALLY deserves it at the end!)

GTI: Ha ha ha! That's right! Truthfully, I find all of her music videos hard to swallow due to their...er....

PD: Inappropriate contents? Lewd presentation? Yeah, Ms. Spears is very well known for such indecency these days, of course! These are some of the things that everyone in America shouldn't be exposed to. Unfortunately, this is the 'land of the free', Glen and everyone seems to abandoning their natural instincts and codes to become a real 'American' citizen. May God have mercy on them all.

GTI: *sniff* That's correct, Mr. President. That's absolutely correct.

PD: Thank you. I really appreciate your complements, Glen.

GTI: No sweat. Looks like we are running out of time so we have to say goodbye to all our fellow readers out there! Do you have any last words, Mr. President?

PD: Well, actually, I would like to say thank you to all of our American moviegoers as well as those who know well about my current crusade against terrorism. And to Mr. Moore, I'm truly sorry about all the failures you have just met recently. Despite all of your efforts, that is not enough to topple me down and everything you say in your propaganda still doesn't change our minds! (Even the Kerry Mania can’t withstand my wrath!) The audience only listens to what we at the White House have to say, not you, Mr. Moore! We are the ones who decide our fate! We have the power to prevent anything like Fahrenheit 9/11 from ever getting a chance of winning an Oscar for Best Documentary! Interfere with our plans again and we'll pulverize you for good!

GTI: Thank you (again and again!) for taking some time with us, Mr. President!

PD: You are welcome, Glen! God Bless America!

TO DUBYA AND HIS GANGS, YOU ARE THE REAL 'CHAMPIONS'!
- From Glen and his alter egos!

*All the contents in this interview are pure fictitious. However, some are based on real current events. Despite what you read here, they are all just trying to crack your mind!*

COMING UP NEXT: AN EXCLUSIVE 77TH ACADEMY AWARDS (BEST FIGHTER AWARD) COVERAGE! You already know who won the game (legally) but what about the secret elusive category that everyone has been talking about? (You can read more about that in the previous post 'The Battle For The Oscar Has Begun...') Stay tuned as Glen The Interviewer takes a closer look at the final match between the Oscar heavyweights! Which movie will reign supreme? (The Million Dollar Baby's recent victory doesn't count, unfortunately!)

- Glen The Interviewer

"WHEN DREAMS WERE FOREVER YOUNG..."

2005-02-26T07:16:00.000-08:00

For The Adults Who Still Had A Heart Of A Child, This Is A Story For You...

'I used to recall a beautiful dream when I was a young child; something that only those who understood their childish nature could decipher. Well, I don't think 'decipher' is a good term for such a simple story. Perhaps, the word 'embrace' is just perfect since I have been doing this for a long time, everytime, everywhere. The best moments came when you slept on a soft bed while the moon shone over the surfaces of the exposed, contrasting them with pure darkness. Sooner or later, you will find yourself standing in front of a lake inside a small garden house. It's almost midnight and yet, you could still see its surroundings. You felt as though you were still a child, thinking that everything around your body was arbitrary. Not many came there since many had succumbed to lunacy and destruction for the sake of greed. Only adults had the power to do that. But they won't have a chance to see such a delightful sight. Only the ones with the heart of a child could go there.'

2005-02-26T07:13:00.000-08:00

'Then the moon went down the horizon, making way for the mighty Sun. There, a ray of light was placed over an odd couple on the bench who seemed to be sharing a personable trait. The husband, who was now sometime in his 60s, embracing his beloved wife who herself had no where to turn but him. I had always known that love is a much splendor thing; an unseen force that came naturally inside us. In reality, they might not be expressing much of their love to each other. Only in dreams could they actually understand the real power of passion and eternal love.'

2005-02-26T07:11:00.000-08:00

'And so, as I witnessed the couple for the last time, I continued to journey towards the upper platform of Slumberland. The stairs were twisted and steep but I carefully navigate my way through the weirdness of its natural, unrefined environment. The road up there was cold and shivering but I refused to let myself up as the Sun awaited for my arrival up there...'

Next Article: What Was Above The Garden Lake...

- Glen The Dream Maker

LATEST HEADLINE: GLEN'S ALMOST GOT BITTEN BY A SNAKE WHILE WALKING OVER IT!!! (ONCE AGAIN, SORRY FOR LATE UPDATES ON THE BLOG!)

2005-02-24T09:14:00.000-08:00

This incident happened just recently this evening when Glen and his mum took a walk along the pavement in the good ol' town of Tuaran. While looking up at the stars and the bright white moon (which is undeniably beautiful), he sensed something weird along the path he took: the black object seemed to be sliding like a... er... snake! I really have to remind you readers that Glen and his alter egos do not make up this story! What has happened at that time is true; something that only Glen can clarify because he's almost stepped on that darn snake! A very large snake! A very shiny, black snake indeed!

Whilst it was almost like a horrible accident (Mum almost had a heart attack! Not really but almost!), Glen later declared it a truly rare blessing! Nobody has expected to walk into the trap... and ultimately evade over it! That also actually changed his life forever, he says! Why, you ask? Well, he has something to tell you all (via The Boy In The Stick Hat), "Exercise is a truly DANGEROUS ACTIVITY! Especially when you do that at night when some venomous creatures hunt out for their preys! Even if that includes you!" The Poet Who Cares, on the other hand, says, "However, if you evade that, you will feel glad that you are still alive! The same feeling that Glen felt at that time too! Now that's what you call 'LUCK'!"

- Glinny The Bird!

A SPECIAL POEM TO ALL TREES AND HUMANITY

2005-02-17T19:33:00.000-08:00

Recently, some guys are instructed by my dad to cut down the trees on both sides of our house. It is this very day that saddens me so much that even the inner child spirit within me fears that our lives won't be the same as before. Cutting down these childhood trees is like killing off what we have been embraced or cared for after several years of spreading joy throughout our house. That's why I dedicate this poem to our beloved star trees which have been shining both day and night before this very fateful day featuring pictures that I took in the Peninsular to emphasize its strongest points yet.

Rest In Peace, Beloved Childhood Trees.

- Glen!

2005-02-17T19:09:00.000-08:00

When the Earth was still young
And the air still fresh and unspoilt,
The God of Trees rose from the Garden of Eden,
Opening Its Great Eye to foresee the Whole World.

2005-02-17T19:07:00.000-08:00

The God of Trees spread its wings wide open,
Flashes of rays coming out from its branches.
Sowing the Seeds that were its children,
Blossoming from the Ashes of Creation.

2005-02-17T19:05:00.000-08:00

For the last 3000 years,
The Earth is a blue home of all living creatures,
Sheltering them from all that seeks to destroy and replace.
The flowers gave them the ability to love;
Their leaves the ability to adapt into different environments;
And their roots the pure wisdom to understand their inner consciousness.
All led to the creation of Mankind.

2005-02-17T19:02:00.000-08:00

Their hearts, unstained and pure, told them to praise and worship the trees
For they had provided the necessities to nourish their 'harvest'.
The two tribes lived peacefully ever since the beginnings,
Little did they know that the bridge would collapse for eternity.

2005-02-17T18:59:00.000-08:00

Realizing that knowledge gradually shaped their minds,
And intelligence tended to corrupt their dignities,
The God of Trees and its children suffered dearly from
Mankind's arrogance, greed and malice.
Since then, they build contraptions to convert trees into mechanical needs.
The souls of the trees passed on into the skies,
Pouring tears to signify their sorrow upon Mankind.

From a tiny raindrop came the great flood,
Devouring and drowning all to cleanse off their sinful acts.
Some had turned over a new leaf
While others rebel to overcome their God's power.
If there were one thing that Mankind would ever embrace to become Kings,
Science was the solution to end God's reign over the World.

2005-02-17T18:58:00.000-08:00

The two tribes fought for endless generations
But the trees showed signs of weariness.
Clashed with sharp claws, gritting teeth and rusty chains,
The God of Trees, despite its thick body, suffered great blows,
Bleeding endlessly as it continued to crush the humans down.
But it all ended in vain.

2005-02-17T18:54:00.000-08:00

The trees ceased their relationship with the cruel intellects,
As the fate of Mankind no longer relied on superstitions.
Now they depended on logics to determine their destiny
But the God forever placed a curse upon them to realize their mistakes;
Soon, the Age of Machines would come to an end, and so would Mankind.

Bestowing its blessings to them before shedding everything it held,
Dying and rotting through the breath of industry.
Its children mourned for the death of their Mother
Not knowing what to do or where to begin.
Only time would show them the way out of sorrowful moments.

2005-02-17T18:50:00.000-08:00

The Whole World gradually got hotter,
The humans beginning to lose their contacts with nature,
Worshipping a new man made god known as 'Money'.
Money that either gave or took the lives of a thousand humans.
Ironically, Money came from trees that no longer thought nor lived like their ancestors;
All had been poisoned by air pollution.

2005-02-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

But there were a few who knew better than any industrialist;
Men and women who actually believed in sacred relationships
Between the trees and their own.
That's why this story ended with a small magical tree
In a lonely town that was believed to be the last descendant
Of the God of Trees that flourished many years ago.

THE END

- Glen The Poet Who Cares

*Pictures Photographed & Modified by Glen Bosiwang

2005-02-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

For A Lonesome Man, Love Is Just Another Fragile Memory...