A Bunch of Silly Tales About Glen's Surreal Adventures and Perspective of Life!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

The Race For The Oscar Is On!

Now we all know the result for this year’s Oscar Nominations! Looks like there will be a great brawl after all: we have Golden Globe heavyweights The Aviator, Sideways and Million Dollar Baby as well as other potentials in the likes of Ray and Finding Neverland. If you wonder who will win the special award, then you are in the right place! Specially sponsored by this website, Glen has acquired one of the Oscars, (which is smuggled secretly by Glen’s alter egos) and is planning to establish a new category called the Best Fighter Award! Yes, every contestant is required to use his/her own special powers to wedge the opponents off the ring without any dirty tricks (that counts as rule number one). Rule number two: any representatives or other movie studios must not know the secret location of the tournament. Otherwise, they will be vaporized to dust. Rules number three: no cheating! (We all know that one, right? But this tournament bears similarity to wrestling; whether our policy is legal or not is questionable but who cares anyway…) Rule number four: the losers will just die out and be forgotten (like all of us audience are: savor the movie and forget it afterwards). Remember, only fortune favors the bold! (Too bad, Alexander isn’t one of them) Good Luck! – Commentator Glen

Meet The Fighters!

THE AVIATOR – Howard Hughes’ silver plane is the fastest of all flying vehicles. With its rather stylish body design and incredibly powerful engine, the Aviator roams the sky and zooms into the horizon within seconds, leaving all in its way scattered around the place! Additionally, Hughes’ camera technique proves to be useful as well (luring enemies into a trap by summoning dogfights just like in the movie!). A potential Oscar winner! Coach: Martin Scorsese

SIDEWAYS – Odd male couple (known as Jack and Miles) inside a bottle. How they get there in the first place is a total mystery. However, their formidable bottle can roll over enemies and squash them in an instant! Their cranky jokes are their special weapon. However, their crude minds and indecisive actions also lure everyone else away, including their beloved ones. Possibly, if they were to win an Oscar, what would they do with it? One of the couple, Jack, replies, “We don’t even care a damn thing about the statue! We just want to get out of this bottle! Can’t really stand the awful stench, dude!” Coach: Alexander Payne

FINDING NEVERLAND – Sir James Matthew Barrie’s most beloved fairy tale has come to life, not to put an end to Captain Hook’s mischievous plans but to fight against all odds to win the prestigious Oscar! Sir Barrie’s noble but rather ordinary appearance doesn’t do any justice but his imaginative little friends have the ability to fly and kick butt with knives, swords and other childish arsenals! Problem is that he needs some time to imagine what his creations look like before bringing them into reality. Coach: Marc Forster

RAY – Ray Charles may be gone forever but his legacy endures! Despite the fact that he’s blind, he knows that he can make miracles with his incredible singing talents! With his charming looks (definitely with his black sunglasses) and smiling white teeth (and yes, his beloved iconic piano), no one will ever deny his innocent yet colorful nature that he possesses! (In other words, enemies will be charmed and petrified) Of course he has won lots of Grammy Awards for his countless famous songs but will he ever get his first and only Oscar in his lifetime? Coach: Taylor Hackford

MILLION DOLLAR BABY – Have you ever heard of an infant that costs a million dollars? No, you dolt! That term refers to a hot babe, Hilary Swank (she hates being called a timid child or ‘baby’) who is taught by his coach to become the best female boxer the world has ever had. And she proves it all after months of intense training and exercises! With her charisma and strong muscles, she can strike a powerful and fatal blow to any opponent she faces! Try to flirt at her and she’ll kick your a**! “I have promised to Mr. Eastwood that I’ll win the Oscar for him and just only for him! He has trained me hard for several months and made me the finest boxer in the world! As one quotes, “One good turn deserves another.”” Coach: Clint Eastwood

Stay tuned for more as the heavyweights are preparing for the greatest battle of the century!


Post a Comment

<< Home