A Bunch of Silly Tales About Glen's Surreal Adventures and Perspective of Life!

Monday, January 31, 2005

Blogazoo Can Do!

That's right! For bloggers who want to attract more visitors, Blogazoo is for you! I just have become a member of this great blog website service and it works basically the same as BlogExplosion. If I can do it, so can you! Just click the Blogazoo banner on the right site of my website, which brings you to its website! Good luck!

- Glen!

Do You Want To Know The Dangerous Stuff That Is Golf? I Can Tell You More Than Just Its Single Consequence... - Glen The Poet Who Knows! Posted by Hello

Sometimes, True Dreams Hurt! This month’s poem: GOLF

Every single ordinary day, people tend to do simple, insignificant actions that we all tend to do (e.g. touching grasses, using computer, playing badminton, cooking, etc.). And yet, many people still haven’t figured out their extended purposes, their undefined explanations and their endless possibilities to make them famous. It may sound strange enough but the fact behind the curtains is there: what we do little at first becomes an obsession, obsession turns us into millionaires and later betrays us, thus luring us into web of tragedy; endless possibilities to give up living and never to return to the real world again.

If you don’t believe what I’m trying to say here, just listen to my poem and I hope you will think carefully before doing what you are supposed to do at home. I’ve experienced everything I’ve seen, felt and touched. It’s not a pretty world after all.

This is a story of a golf player who isn’t supposed to be a golf player later in life. Yet, his destiny chooses him to be one. Why, you ask? That’s because golf, for obsessed fans, is an enjoyable game. Addictive. Seductive. And dangerous. Indeed. When you see an opportunity, try to steer away from it. Either way, you will suffer in an alternative pathline unless you decide not to do anything at all!

-The Golf Player-

There’s always be a tale of old,
And that happens to be a small kid
Who lives in a small but peaceful house;
Whose parents have spent quality time
Working, kissing, cooking, cleaning, you name it.

But the kid has nothing to do to impress himself.
Even his parents are devastated with the awful fact.
Everything he does, poor little kid,
Tends to fail him at any turning point.
His parents, pressured further by his son’s incompetence,
Decide to bring him to a wide green hill
Where nothing else grows on it except trees, holes, ponds
And, of course, sticks with tiny flags.
Why they do this is for the sake of his son.

Moon eventually toasts the beacon to the Sun;
The boy and his parents reach for the ‘Promised Land’,
Where Mum and Dad hope for a miracle
As the boy holds the club for the first time.
“It feels heavy,” says the boy.
Mum and Dad are willing to provide guidance and assistance
To make him a better player.

If I were his parent, I wouldn’t ask my boy to play with heavy sticks.
‘Cause swinging the club is bone cracking for the boy’s size.
However, Mum and Dad are desperate with his son’s lifetime success.
And the simplest thing they can think of
Is golf!
Just tell him to ‘strike a hole-in-one’
And he would do it.
But for now, all he needs is practice.
“Just look at the hole and you know what to do.”
His parents have always insisted on what they say to him.
It’s a long, hard road for the poor kid,
But as long as he endures, he is doing just fine.

The kid may not understand their obsession with golf
And their dream of turning him into a golf player,
He could have said ‘No’ to them
And he could have done the right thing.
But right things are wrong,
And wrong things are right.
Conundrum everywhere!
But a chance to rule the world is a possibility.

Night turns to day,
Day turns to night.
Months turn to years,
Years turn to decades.
The little boy, once feeble and vulnerable,
Now becomes the world’s finest golf player.
Their parents, now feeling ironically feeble and vulnerable,
Are proud of his son’s unprecedented achievements.

For the famed player, it’s a piece of cake
To send the ball flying into heaven
And it eventually lands into the hole.
All the time.
‘Cause he knows that the hole he sees is there.
He calculates his position properly,
Analyzing the velocity of the wind
And praying for God that he doesn’t miss.

The golf player never misses his target in his entire career.
In his favor, he now strikes his 100th hole-in-one.
According to him, it all feels like a sniper.
Why he says thus is explicitly… unexplainable.
Anyway, he often claims golf as his ‘passionate wife’.

For most competitors, they are really jealous of him, indeed.

Later in life, he has a lovely wife and his 2 beautiful children;
Her name is Lilia and his children Rendall and Mathilde respectively.
They all live at a luxurious banglo in the land of the Famed.
Does the golf player live happily ever after at the end?

I don’t really think so…

When he celebrates his 31st birthday on Friday the 13th,
News spread amongst the minor societies;
Both of his parents meet their untimely death
By the time they play with sticks.
‘Sticks?! My parents die because of playing with… sticks?!”
Absurdity doesn’t end up being absurd at all
As you keep reading it to the end.

The golf player is enraged with such nonsense,
Deciding to go to his homeland for further investigation.
It all turns out that his Mum is furious with Dad,
Realizing that Dad has an affair with his…
Guess who…

The golf player’s wife! At their house!

It is unbelievable that his father is a gigolo;
Mum has always wanted his poor boy to be successful,
Thinking of golf as her family’s proudest tradition!
While his Dad just wants his son’s fame to fulfill his sexual pleasure!
Obsessed with golf? Not much, Dad thinks.
Such outrageous, discreet scandal!
Dad breaks Mum’s heart and so,
They fight with the golfer’s most beloved clubs.
Clubbed to death as his wife witnesses their tragic battle.
The golf player asks her why she does such a sinful act;
She replies, “Do you think I’m happy with you?
No! You often spend your time golfing around!
Whatever you see is just golf! Golf, golf everywhere!
You never even care of me, your children and our efforts
To love you even more!
But you just don’t care about us!
Now, our children decide to live with my mother
And we are childless!
I am tired of your constant obsession with victories,
Money and most importantly to you, GOLF!!!
That’s why I decide to make love with your Dad,
Just to make you realize of your idiotic pleasure with your other ‘wife’.
I don't know why I allow them to fight each other,
But I know a very good reason behind this:
Perhaps they are basically tired of YOU.”

The wife leaves him for the last time.

Since then, he rarely scores a hole-in-one;
His awesome talent begins to fade away.
The chanting of his name is forever heard no more.
Now, he even makes way for the lamest player
To win his first trophy!
Soon, he thinks, this guy will face the same fate as his.

Laughing, laughing all the way,
The poor golf player walks away from the tournament,
Drinking and talking to himself with useless words.
Words that no longer make sense.
Words that kill.
Words that blind his sight.

THUMP!

Something hits on his head,
The hole oozes out gushes of blood.
He falls into large hole,
Filled with total darkness,
Devoid of all kinds of sounds.

Since then, he never comes back from the hole.
Ironically, I would call it a ‘Hole-In-One’, I guess!

As a lesson to all of you, including of fans of golf, beware of what you are doing, even the simplest things you do! Remember these words of the wise, “Seek The Dream. Dream That Dream And It’s A Dream Come True! Sometimes, True Dreams Hurt!”

- Glen The Poet Who Cares!


P.S.: As Glinny The Bird has mentioned in his previous monthly post, I won’t be publishing daily posts beginning this Tuesday (in his homeland, that’s tomorrow) cause I’ll be in the other side of Malaysia to celebrate Chinese New Year! So we’ll meet again in two weeks time! Also, keep checking out my web blog if there’s any update between the two weeks (I may be using someone else’s PC/laptop!).

- Glen!

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Gong Xi Fa Chai! (Or 'Happy Chinese New Year' for non-Chinese speakers) Strangely though, Glen Himself Can't Speak Chinese At All! Posted by Hello

A Message From Glinny: Gong Xi Fa Chai!

I bet you non-Chinese have no idea what these words mean. Basically, it's 'Happy Chinese New Year!' Yep, Glen won't be posting his thoughts and pictures beginning this Tuesday cos he and his family will be going to Peninsular Malaysia to celebrate this festive season with his pop's Chinese family! It is always one of Glen's family's proudest tradition and it's been going on ever since his birth! Glen's grandparents are still alive and kicking (they are now in their mid-80s!); one of the best reasons to join in the fun aside from the Wang family gatherings! Glen hopes to see you soon, perhaps sometime between the second week (14, 15, 16 Feb or beyond). Once again! Glen, his alter egos and Glinny The Bird myself wish to say 'Gong Xi Fa Chai'!

- Glinny The Bird

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Members Of The Infamous Golden Rasberry Foundation 'Dishonor' Their Own President For His Awful Acting Skills! Congrats! Posted by Hello

'Congratulations', Dubya!

Glen Bosiwang and his alter egos wish to 'congratulate' President Bush for receiving his first Razzie Nomination for Worst Actor in Fahrenheit 9/11. Kudos to Secretary of State-designate Condoleezza Rice and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld for their worst supporting roles as well! Although it is not uttered by Bush himself, Glen and his associates know that he would say something like this in his mind: "I wish to thank you all, including the Golden Rasberry Foundation, for giving me tremendous support and all I ever wish is to stop Michael Moore's propaganda documentary from ever achieving its 'insane goals' to dethrone me! Good thing that I am reelected for the second time, I will accept this award (!!!) as long as Fahrenheit 9/11 doesn't receive any Oscar awards and Moore's overall plan has failed. Once again, thank you and God bless America!" Great speech, Mr. President!

In other news, Michael Moore is extremely p***ed off with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for not giving his documentary any Oscar nominations. Despite his efforts to dethrone Bush and telling the American public the realization of Dubya's so-called 'evil' plans (which almost paid off by collecting more than US$200 in the US box-office), the overall strategy is all in vain in the last instant. When heard of this terrible news, Michael Moore goes face to face with the Academy, once again uses his famous gesture, this time criticizing its members for associating themselves with the Bush administration. "Shame on you, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences! Shame on you all for listening to Bush's lies and not giving my masterpiece a chance to beat these crappy movies (referring to the ones that are nominated for Best Picture and so on). Shame on you Bush for manipulating their minds and even forcing them to put Fahrenheit aside from getting nominated even once! Shame on your *#$&%$*$%...!!!" Due to his harsh remarks, Moore is booed by the Academy members before throwing him out of the building!

P.S. While none of these actually takes part, they all represent alternative situations that could have happenend if such matters were taken to the extreme! On other hand, they are completely fictitious and only created for your enjoyment! Thank you for reading!

- Glen and the rest of his alter egos

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

The Battle For The Golden Statue Has Begun... Posted by Hello

The Race For The Oscar Is On!

Now we all know the result for this year’s Oscar Nominations! Looks like there will be a great brawl after all: we have Golden Globe heavyweights The Aviator, Sideways and Million Dollar Baby as well as other potentials in the likes of Ray and Finding Neverland. If you wonder who will win the special award, then you are in the right place! Specially sponsored by this website, Glen has acquired one of the Oscars, (which is smuggled secretly by Glen’s alter egos) and is planning to establish a new category called the Best Fighter Award! Yes, every contestant is required to use his/her own special powers to wedge the opponents off the ring without any dirty tricks (that counts as rule number one). Rule number two: any representatives or other movie studios must not know the secret location of the tournament. Otherwise, they will be vaporized to dust. Rules number three: no cheating! (We all know that one, right? But this tournament bears similarity to wrestling; whether our policy is legal or not is questionable but who cares anyway…) Rule number four: the losers will just die out and be forgotten (like all of us audience are: savor the movie and forget it afterwards). Remember, only fortune favors the bold! (Too bad, Alexander isn’t one of them) Good Luck! – Commentator Glen

Meet The Fighters!

THE AVIATOR – Howard Hughes’ silver plane is the fastest of all flying vehicles. With its rather stylish body design and incredibly powerful engine, the Aviator roams the sky and zooms into the horizon within seconds, leaving all in its way scattered around the place! Additionally, Hughes’ camera technique proves to be useful as well (luring enemies into a trap by summoning dogfights just like in the movie!). A potential Oscar winner! Coach: Martin Scorsese

SIDEWAYS – Odd male couple (known as Jack and Miles) inside a bottle. How they get there in the first place is a total mystery. However, their formidable bottle can roll over enemies and squash them in an instant! Their cranky jokes are their special weapon. However, their crude minds and indecisive actions also lure everyone else away, including their beloved ones. Possibly, if they were to win an Oscar, what would they do with it? One of the couple, Jack, replies, “We don’t even care a damn thing about the statue! We just want to get out of this bottle! Can’t really stand the awful stench, dude!” Coach: Alexander Payne

FINDING NEVERLAND – Sir James Matthew Barrie’s most beloved fairy tale has come to life, not to put an end to Captain Hook’s mischievous plans but to fight against all odds to win the prestigious Oscar! Sir Barrie’s noble but rather ordinary appearance doesn’t do any justice but his imaginative little friends have the ability to fly and kick butt with knives, swords and other childish arsenals! Problem is that he needs some time to imagine what his creations look like before bringing them into reality. Coach: Marc Forster

RAY – Ray Charles may be gone forever but his legacy endures! Despite the fact that he’s blind, he knows that he can make miracles with his incredible singing talents! With his charming looks (definitely with his black sunglasses) and smiling white teeth (and yes, his beloved iconic piano), no one will ever deny his innocent yet colorful nature that he possesses! (In other words, enemies will be charmed and petrified) Of course he has won lots of Grammy Awards for his countless famous songs but will he ever get his first and only Oscar in his lifetime? Coach: Taylor Hackford

MILLION DOLLAR BABY – Have you ever heard of an infant that costs a million dollars? No, you dolt! That term refers to a hot babe, Hilary Swank (she hates being called a timid child or ‘baby’) who is taught by his coach to become the best female boxer the world has ever had. And she proves it all after months of intense training and exercises! With her charisma and strong muscles, she can strike a powerful and fatal blow to any opponent she faces! Try to flirt at her and she’ll kick your a**! “I have promised to Mr. Eastwood that I’ll win the Oscar for him and just only for him! He has trained me hard for several months and made me the finest boxer in the world! As one quotes, “One good turn deserves another.”” Coach: Clint Eastwood

Stay tuned for more as the heavyweights are preparing for the greatest battle of the century!




Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Curious Glen Has No Idea How Technology Advances So Far... Posted by Hello

Monday, January 24, 2005

The Survivors Waved Goodbye To The Golden Pelican. Posted by Hello

The Mighty Fight Between The Golden Pelican And The Serpent Road! (Despite Great Fanfare, The Fight Only Lasts For 30 Seconds) Posted by Hello

Our Third (And Final) Day In Kundasang!

And now, for all readers who are waiting for the final chapter of the Kundasang saga, here we have it on our hands (whoever misses Day One and Day Two articles can refer back to this website’s archives!). It was our third day in an almost isolated hilly place when something struck without warning. The whole situation changed our lives forever. The Poet Who Cares and The Boy In The Stick Hat tell their story.


Day 3

As my family and relatives were packing their clothes and stuff for a journey home, I took a single last breath while watching at the wonders above the clouds that continuously floating and changing shape above the hills with great speed. It was as though they were dancing with the souls whose bodies were long rotten in their graveyards. They were now together as one. I could almost feel their presence as I reached up to touch the air. Very emotional, by the way.

But something at the far end of the hill told him the secrecy that held the obsoleteness and the subtle greatness of Kundasang: a dying tree surrounded by telephone lines. There, a shining egg lay on the nest, glimmering in front of my eyes. Additionally, the egg also told me of the upcoming danger that would wipe the whole city with a single blow. What was it trying to tell me? Why is it lying on the dying tree, which was surrounded by lines of confusion? My sense of paranoia heightened.

(Is that guy high or what?)

Time to go back to our respective homes in Tuaran and Penampang. Exhaustion could be felt throughout our bodies despite having breakfast in the first place. As we all drove back via the twisted roads, the clouds suddenly turned violent, the winds blew harder than before. There then, the houses, the trees and everything on the hills were flown away into the swirling tornado. Funnily, though, it even unleashed heavy rainstorm in an instant, drowning all that survived the first wave. There was panic everywhere and we were very, very afraid indeed! At last, the tornado ceased turning, revealing its truest form, the Serpent Road! The concrete creature had recently ripped its long body out of the grounds, showing the possible fact that it was fed-up with the frequent car passes. Now at long last, all it ever wanted was revenge!

(What the heck? Hey, Poet, you are missing the point here! I’ve told you I really hate twisted roads on hills, but what you are telling here is just plain extreme and pure nonsense!)

Silence! You have no right to tell me what is right, Stick Boy.

(That’s The Boy In The Stick Hat, numbskull!)

Just ignore that poor kid, will ya? Anyway, back to my story. There was nowhere to hide from such malice so my whole families decided to hold hands together, chanting a truly strange language. The language of ‘Kinoingan’! (which in Kadazan means god). The egg in the far end of the hill cracked, revealing all in its full glory: The Golden Pelican!

Soon, it flew over the flooded hills, saving the survivors with its mighty beak! We were collected at the last minute as the tail of the Serpent Road smashed our vehicles into pieces. Whew! That was a close call. Soon, the two creatures went head to head for a final showdown as we cheered to raise the bird’s morale! Literally, though, the Pelican’s sharp beak hit the Serpent’s head by accident. Therefore, the Serpent collapsed and its concrete structure shattered into smithereens. Boy, some could have hoped for a longer fight but at least, peace had returned to Kundasang once again.

(Neither of that happened, ladies and gentlemen. Since we are running out of great stories on day three, this weirdo simply makes up stories just to attract your attention. You all geddit?)

*The Poet, losing his temper and patience, eventually hit The Boy In The Stick Hat on his head, rendering him unconscious. Poor, Stick Boy! Better not mess up with The Poet Who Cares! Hehe!*

And so, the Golden Pelican, with its mighty shimmering wings, brought the survivors (including my whole families, of course) to the nearest shelter on the other side of the state. As the sun readied itself for slumber, making way for its sister moon to roam the night, we all waved the Pelican goodbye as it flew into the horizon, never to be seen again.

“The Moon shone over the shores of the ruins,
The man-made Serpent Road lay dead on its shattered weight,
a result of industry, ignorance and a mockery of nature.
The Pelican, sleeping on its dying ‘mother’ for a mere millenium,
Finally rose to its occasion to save our vessels and souls from
complete destruction.
Soon, humans would realize of their mistakes, wishing that nature
would decide what was best for them:
The Golden Pelican is our only solution to all forms of messes.”

This poem basically ends the tale that exists only in the mind of Glen and doesn't exist elsewhere.

- Glen The Poet Who Cares

Saturday, January 22, 2005

'Hail Bush! Hail Bush! Hail Bush...' Posted by Hello

The Critical Call: When The Bush Starts Losing Its Leaves...

We all know who won the election last year. President George W. Bush narrowly defeated democrat John Kenny in a US Presidential Election. Now entering his second term in the White House, Bush is now planning for an all-new resolution for the World Order, especially the future plans for Middle East. On the other hand, the world leaders are dreaded with Dubya’s victory over Kenny (whom almost everyone in the world has hoped for), deciding to endure another four years of Dubya’s reckless adventures until someone else sits on his throne. But for now, let’s see what goes wrong with the US Government since the infamous 911 (pretty sounds coincidence, doesn’t it?) incident. Yeah, the world has gone topsy-turvy after that, if you ask me. Good thing I’m not G.W.B. cause I’m G.B.W. because if I were to have similar initials as his, well, that would be pretty humiliating.

Remember the good old days of Bill Clinton, a time when Americans expected lots of fanfare, fireworks, and of course, jazz? Well, that was pretty memorable, wasn’t it? Good old Clinton has done a job well done as a president to handling major issues, maintaining economical stability and… er… other good stuff. (let’s not talk about the Lewinsky case, ok?) Anyway, the whole world loves Clinton (uhh, I miss those glorious days!) Well, almost. But the good old times were about to end and Clinton finally retired at the end of the 20th century! Oh no, what are the Americans gonna do? No worries, though, as a new president had been elected: George W. Bush, priceless son of former president Bush Sr. Everyone at first cheered at the birth of a new American order in the third millenium. But not all of them were happy of such occasion. In fact, the unseen gods (who were unimpressed with people’s obsession with power, money and crimes) had unleashed their own manifesto that would change the world forever (something that Nostradamus had predicted, I guess): the third wave. The first occurred during the black plague, the French revolution, etc in the early centuries, the second during the days of the World War. Now, we are at it.

Everything had been planned according to plan. The destruction of the World Trade Center collapsed the promise of greater peace, and Bush was enraged with such cowardly act by the Talibans. When Afghanistan was under assault from the US skies, everyone called Bush a hero with a noble intention (similar to Adolf Hitler who brought German out from depression), but nobody was aware of Bush’s other notorious plans to manipulate the system of the US Government. Like his pop for his Gulf War campaign, all he ever needed to achieve his goals was to invade Iraq. He endlessly stated Saddam’s world as an axis of ‘evil’ or something but I guess that he was obviously watching too much TV shows. Even the Americans themselves were confused whether their leader was doing it for the sake of justice or he’s ‘just plain high’. During the Iraq War, thousands of US soldiers were sent there to die like dummies (similar to the faceless stormtroopers in Star Wars. Pity them) whereas President Dubya was doing something luxurious on other parts of the world, pretending that nothing was happening. And because of these, other forms of catastrophe had been unfurled. The SARS epidemic, the tsunami tragedy, the upcoming avian incident and more. And even some minorities tended to go crazy as well: cases including a disillusioned person who thought he could convert lions to Christianity, Middle East cinemas used Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ as a propaganda film to place hatred towards the Jews, bla bla bla. Could this be happening all because of one man? Only heavens knew.

This year, Dubya has revealed more of his rather nonsensical plans: to invade Iran and prove of its threat to the world. The heck is he thinking about? Has he heeded no lessons from the obscure and the ‘ridiculous’ that bear a greater truth than his own sense of logic? Try watching Oliver Stone’s JFK. Sure the acclaimed director simply makes up those stories but at least there is connection between what it is and the world as it is today. The Americans are losing their own faith and the whole thing becomes corrupted. Paranoia roams. That’s the main point of the whole movie. Still can’t figure it out? Try reading Frank Herbert’s Dune books (as well as the current miniseries) which keep stating that being a hero is dangerous and that often leads to greater problems. In fact, Frank is just a minority and yet he’s smarter than any presidents of a lifetime are. Sometimes, as I have always wanted to advice, fiction sometimes tells the truth better than fact (which are sadly frequently distorted by ‘idiotic’ smarta***es). Or perhaps you can also watch Michael Moore’s blockbuster documentary ‘Fahrenheit 911’. I bet every American starts practicing one of Moore’s famous gestures such as ‘Shame on you, Bush!’ criticism right after watching the movie. Bravo for Moore’s courageous act against Bush after receiving his first Oscar right on national TV! Either way, these are just my opinions and those who disagree with whatever I say here can send comments as a ‘counterattack’!


- Glen The Critical Guy

Go Jenny Go! Yes, I design that too alongside Samurai Jack!  Posted by Hello

Go Jenny Go!

For big fans of Nicktoon's My Life As A Teenage Robot (as well as myself), I have visited one official blog set up by one of the writers of the actual show! See the in-depth details including artwork, preliminary designs and even more stuff from the upcoming seasons and MORE! I really highly recommend to those who love the show as well as cartoon enthusiasts so check it out NOW! Oh yeah, you can read more of my accounts of comments that I have written there too! Just go to this website and enjoy!

http://teenageroblog.blogspot.com/

-Glen!

Oh, The Horror... Posted by Hello

Tambunan?!!

Yesterday, my whole family was going to one place that is actually more isolated than Kundasang (I've mentioned this on my previous posts), Tambunan! Wha... that was one long way from here. I mean, I've been there before and the place's like a ghost town. And do you want to know what my family was up to? Well, they had teamed up with our relatives just for one purpose. And what is it you ask? Invading the whole state? Nope! Turning the hometown into robot-manufacturing factories? Uh uh. We aren't rich, you know. But there was one thing they could afford, something more horrifying than anything you have read from my posts before. So, embrace yourselves and face the horrible fact of reality.......










GOLF!


Yes! Golf! It was the only thing they would do when they got up early in the morning! I had no idea why they were obsessed with golf! Golf, golf everywhere! In fact, they could play golf in the nearby resort or somewhere in the heart of the city. But why in such far places. Only heaven knew!

- Glen The Boy In The Stick Hat

NEXT UP: The shocking conclusion to Glen’s final day in Kundasang. As he and his families were preparing for a voyage home, something struck the pitiful town of Kundasang! What would happen to our heroic icon as he faced such awful situation? Stay tuned to find out!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Behold, Samurai Jack!

As a tribute to the most awesome show ever made, I've drawn a picture of Samurai Jack himself with Freehand! No, it's not something that you cut from the Internet and paste against the blue screen, I really draw it with my bare hands (and mouse, of course!). Problem is that it seems too authenticated, isn't it? Either way, I draw it in three hours and I'm proud of it! (C) Cartoon Network  Posted by Hello

Take At Look At Cartoons: Samurai Jack, The Incredibles and Danny Phantom

One of the most revolutionary cartoons of the century, Samurai Jack is the brainchild of Genndy Tartakovsky, creator of Dexter's Laboratory and also the director of several episodes of The Powerpuff Girls. The show itself sets up new standards for limited animation and I really agree with some guys who think of Samurai Jack as groundbreaking. To read more of my review of the show, go to the IMDB website at this address (just cut and paste it on the website address, I'm no whizz kid):

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0278238/usercomments-38

Also, I have set up reviews for Disney and Pixar's The Incredibles

(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317705/usercomments-302)

as well as Nick's Danny Phantom

(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366005/usercomments-21)

Hope you enjoy reading them! Also, you may send in your comments whenever you wish!

- Glen The Movie/Toon Guy

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Finally, Glen's Received The Prestigious Degree Certificate! Posted by Hello

TODAY'S BULLETIN: GLEN FINALLY GRADUATES!

That's true! I just receive a letter from my mum after several weeks of waiting. I was a bit furious at first when mum said the letter she held was a summon from Multimedia University in Cyberjaya for not doing any decent work or something. Once I opened the dang envelope and read the whole content, I actually jumped in joy when I received the prestigious Bachelor Degree in Film and Animation! (The rest of Glen's alter egos wish to congratulate him for that!) Finally, after a false alarm last year for missing the only co-curicullum subject (in this case, I took acting), I had wasted a whole year waiting for special moments in a convocation this year! Drats! If I knew that matter better but anyway, I finally got what I wish for!

However, mum isn't too glad with my rank of second class (lower division) instead of first class but that doesn't matter anyway!

That's my special bulletin for today! Yahoo!

- Glen

Monday, January 17, 2005

When Reality Shows Begin To Rot Like Hell! Posted by Hello

Sunday, January 16, 2005

THE CRITICAL CALL STARRING GLEN THE CRITICAL GUY: When Reality Shows Start To Stink…

Hello, readers! I’m Glen The Critical Guy! Unlike the rest of Glens who are mostly black and white, I am the only one who wears glasses and blue outfits. It’s a pleasure to meet you all!

Well, I used to watch reality shows when it was first introduced some years ago. A time when the first Survivor show premiered in the US soils and later the whole world by storm. Unlike any other shows I had seen before, it was undoubtedly different, refreshingly brilliant in execution: an entire group of castaways who are left stranded on an island (that’s Pulau Tiga, just located on the east side of my country, Sabah. If my memory serves me correctly, one of my uncles also provided some sort of supplies to the crews of Survivor. Another reason I like the show.) There, every castaway must rely on each other to survive by building huts, hammocks and boats while searching for potential foods such as coconuts, fish, crabs and other almost uneatable stuff! Enduring the weathers, winning the major games and casting one of them off the island were also a part of the whole scenario in order to win a great prize. Yes, it was at that time was incredibly original and intriguing! Survivor was not Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune or any game shows that followed formulas of the two mentioned, it was just something else and more. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was a pivotal moment in the history of entertainment, the birth of a new genre and its immediate rise to popularity. Survivor changes our life forever. For the best, you ask? Not necessary.

After the success of the first Survivor, there was Temptation Island. Never seen it before but I heard it was controversial. Still, it was no Survivor. The second Survivor was shown a year later. Still looking good. Then other strange stuff came along the way. Joe Millionaire, Family Plots, Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire, Big Brother, Fear Factor… Oii! What the heck is going on here?! Why do so many TV companies want to imitate everything Survivor had in the first place? This whole thing just becomes too commercial. People nowadays will do everything to get money and fame, which is not beneficially important to audience all around here. Currently, we have the most predictable (and sometimes outrageously outrageous) reality shows I’ve seen for a long time: The Amazing Race (could have been several years ago), My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé (I don’t like its concept of making a mockery of fat people. Whoever makes this show obviously doesn’t read Beauty and the Beast), The Apprentice (oh, the horror! The Don is horrifying enough for his irritating character to fire everyone. Hey, that’s showbiz. Right, Don?), to name but a few. Anyway, they all begin to stink at a fast pace…

But the worst case is about to come: Malaysian TV broadcasters also have planned to make their very own reality shows that are mostly ripped off from the American format. Let’s check out what we have in store from Malaysia: Explorace (a completely rip-off version of The Amazing Race which also equally sucks in my taste), Akademi Fantasia (the heck? Another rip-off version of American Idol. Why on earth would the producers do that when humans are capable of making something original? What makes me cringe is the show’s popularity in Sabah. They would even sacrifice themselves for such unnecessary occasion. My mum is one of them!), Malaysian Idol (not a rip-off but another ‘authenticated’ version of Idol but most of the singers in the show are below par). Sure, Malaysia is one of the countries that criticize the American and Western policy but why still bother copying things from the ones we hate most? It all doesn’t make any sense even in a logical viewpoint…

Either way, reality shows clearly show their lack of originality: contestants trash talking with each other for their incompetence, too many emotional on-screen moments when the loser was cast off from the show (what’s the point of doing it when they all trash talk in the first place?), over the top tasks just to get more chances of winning the game (which becomes notoriously cruel to attract more audience. Many contestants quit when forced to do atrocious acts such as eating genitals of animals or worse yet, swim in a pool filled with dead animals and toxic waste!), blah blah blah. Basically, they are all the first Survivor with entirely different disguises and it’s all going to wear thin too quickly. But they all gradually become awfully ‘evil’ for their sarcastic environment. People learn to distrust others just for the sake of one thing. That’s right: it’s all about money. And money is for sarcastic, greedy people. That one notion really puts moral classes to shame.

Today, I decide not to watch this sort of genre anymore. It’s repetitive, typical and obnoxiously and ridiculously superficial. Even viewers like you are smarter enough not to get charmed by their fancy format that is definitely going outdated in many years to come. I urge you all, ladies and gentlemen, to stop paying attention to whatever they produce on TV, especially reality shows. They never give you neither knowledge nor greater status. You are just making a fool of yourselves. Watch the classic and family-friendly game shows like Wheel of Fortune instead.

TODAY’S POLL: What is the most common one-liner that you viewers hear on reality shows nowadays? Just send in your comments (e.g. the most common and irritating one-liner I’ve heard on reality shows is ‘I’ll go for it!’) as well as your responses to my reactions to current reality shows! Stay tuned to my next issue of THE CRITICAL CALL, only in The Fantastic Experiences of Glen Bosiwang!

- Glen The Critical Guy

Thursday, January 13, 2005

The Poet Who Cares saw a great splash battle between little kids and a fat floating 'baron'... Posted by Hello

...While The Boy In The Stick Hat Criticized The Idea Of Making Skin Contacts With...Er....Boys. Posted by Hello

Our Second Day In Kundasang!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for another hair-raising (dubious) experiences of Glen in Kundasang! In this article, we, the Poet and The Boy In The Stick Hat will continue where we left off in our previous post. Although it seems ordinary to readers like you, it’s actually stranger than you think… only in Glen’s mind.

Day 2

It was a cold, breezing morning and everyone was awake, readying their breakfast and preparing to leave at any moment. I was still a little tired and a bit neglected to go for a swim in Ranau Hot Spring but since I hadn’t experience it for a very long time, there wasn’t a moment to lose and I couldn’t hesitate to accept my cousins’ offer. It took some time from our so-called ‘base’ to Ranau but the scenery there was breathtaking. The hometown itself was overly crowded with people, children and hawkers. Another busy day for these locals. How wrong I was to think of Ranau as an obscure area.

Once arrived in Hot Spring, my cousins and I went into some sort of a jungle with bridges, pavements and dustbins. You would see these a lot in Sabah. What intrigues and fears me most were the moments of submitting myself into the pools. Yes, it felt extremely cold but ‘cool’ is the exact term. The bizarreness of the circumstances there, in addition to visitors and swimmers who came in different sizes (e.g. long line of children including one adults took a ‘snake dive’ from a smaller pool into a bigger one, some even planned to push fat adults into the pools, children battles with bigger dudes by splashing, strange things afloat in the blue sea, etc) added a sense of fantasy into Glen’s own observation. Aside from all the joyful, wild rides and the cheery atmosphere, I now learned of the meaning of ‘social family’: each person has a characteristic and personalities of his/her own, interacting with each others to create a sense of invulnerability and best of all, togetherness. After a perfect day in Hot Spring, my cousins and I went straight to the ‘base’ and had a good night sleep. Oh, not before having our dinner and singing X’mas songs for the second time.

(What can I say: it’s soooo darn HOT! HOT, HOT, HOT!!! Everything in Ranau was too bright, overexposed and, in one odd sense, yellow! I remembered my moments in a durian stall (the smell! Oh the smell!) when I almost felt my shirt (and even my hair) burning like hell. And what of the Hot Spring you say? Well, it was pretty ok but the toilet facilities left a lot to desire. What horrified me most was the idea of sitting in a hot pool… with a bunch of people! Acck! I disliked making skin contacts with boys (doing that with my girlfriend may have a sense of intimacy although I don’t currently have one yet) because, well, it was… disgusting!!! Even the little kids loved doing these sort of stuff! And what of dead wasps, beetles and papers inside the pool! Insanity! Total hysterical! I won’t be responsible for such incident if one were to get stung by its sting. When it was all done, the same thing kept repeating itself. Singing. Ruining the purity of X’mas songs. Kids jumping like mad without a reason. ‘Nuff said.)

Next: Our third (and final) day in Kundasang! Read the conclusive episode only on The Fantastic Experiences of Glen Bosiwang!


- Glen The Poet Who Cares and Glen The Boy In The Stick Hat

ANOTHER APPALLING NEWS! Glen recently had a rather bland interview with another obscure company to apply a job as a graphic designer! Ohh, the humanity! The place is a bit bleaker, the working atmosphere is far uninspiring than the last interview and worst of all, the place is too quiet till you can’t hear a bird singing outside! (Cricket sound) Once again, pray for Glen to become Sabah’s finest cartoonist ever!
 Posted by Hello

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

AWFUL NEWS!!! Glen may have to work as a graphic designer in a rather isolated and boring place. Its room is pretty tiny, and there aren't lots of activities there so let's pray that he's not gonna work there!  Posted by Hello

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Attention To All Visitors Of Glen's Realm!

To visitors of Glen's realm, this is your chance to vote for the world's greatest and most mysterious person, Glen! (No, not the photo he pastes on his website. He has changed much his appearances a few years ago) He recently fills a form to become a member of the newly established Sabah comic association! So vote for him via comments in which you can give him some support to encourage his spirit to roar like a fiery beast! You may also ask him of anything regarding his dreams of building his own empire! Or maybe just some tidbits about his recent experience with the cartoonist he met in the gallery (please see the Midget report in Glen's blog for his visit to the comic exhibition). Also, please vote for his website as that'll only make him happier than ever before so vote for Glen NNOOOWWWW!!! Posted by Hello

Monday, January 10, 2005

Glen The Boy In The Stick Hat reveals his newest banner for Glen's website!
 Posted by Hello

Their Experiences On The Road Hill... Posted by Hello

The Special Bat Porridge May Be The Poet's Cup Of Tea But The Rest Like Stick Hat Could Have Eaten It If He Wasn't Told Of The Awful Fact... Posted by Hello

Our First Day In Kundasang!

Hello, my dear unknowns!

I am really pleased to tell you that I, The Poet Who Cares, will now tell you the story that you readers have been waiting for: The Great (Awful) Experiences of Glen in Kundasang! To begin our journey, Glen The Projector will now project some of the images that I have tried to recall since my first encounter with my relatives there. For optional criticism to this article (which I absolutely loathe), I have also brought another alter ego of Glen, the infamous Boy In The Stick Hat as a co-commentator (his thoughts are printed in brackets). And now for the adventure!

Day 1

The car turned and twisted as Dad drove along the rather curvy roads that usually cause carsick and headaches. But for me, it was sensational. The sky blackened gradually as time passed. Tiny lights could be seen from afar and on top of the hills. While the trees provided a ‘visual splendour’ to please the eyes of the visitors, the stars sparkled at the right time to guide the drivers to safety.

(Oh boy. The car twisted and turned and I got carsick so easily that I even begged Dad to stop driving, thinking of suggesting an idea to go back home instead. I was really in an awful mood at that time because I knew we are to visit these kind of places. In fact, I have experienced it a thousand times, mostly involve these green stuff and primitive facilities! To add the pressure to my head, the constant attempts to overtake the slow cars scared the poop out of me spines! Dad’s driving skills had always been a bit reckless and dangerous so I sometimes screamed and hid my face whenever we faced such pre-collisions!)

After an hour of driving, Dad, Mum, Sis and I had finally arrived at a villa of some sort. Our relatives reached the place first so we immediately brought our luggage to a restroom before sharing a feast with the Bosi family. It was romantically pleasant, with the coolness of the environment and the delicacy of fried chickens, veggies and bat porridge (for heaven’s sake!). Later, we all have the annual carolling when we sang many of the most beloved X’mas songs ever! We sang and sang and sang as the small kids danced happily with smiles on our faces. The time struck 11 and all I need now was a good night sleep.

(Bllauurgh! I don’t think I’ll ever go there via these twisted roads again! I could still feel the dizziness in my head so I urged my Mum to rest for a while before eating. The meal was fine but something struck me when I was to take my last dish. The porridge tasted surprisingly nice but with these weird black skins, I asked my Sis to specify it. She said it was black chicken, which I had never heard of, but I ate it anyway. Suddenly, one of my aunts notified that it was bat porridge!!! What the heck….! I thought it’s supposed to be kosher at least! Couldn’t believe my Sis lied to me about that! Ok, what next, err, yeah, the Christmas singing. Oooh, that gonna be torturous especially when they ruined the purity of The Little Drummer Boy! (Wooowooowooowooo!) That’s enough already! I wanna sleep to face another nightmare. Goodnight!!)

Next: Day Two In Kundasang! So stay tuned!

- Glen The Poet Who Cares & Glen The Boy In The Stick Hat

Saturday, January 08, 2005

The Midgets Tell Of Glen's Recent Visit To The Comic Exhibition... Posted by Hello

SPECIAL BULLETIN: Glen's soon to be a cartoonist!

Midget #1
That's right guys: Glen himself recently went to the Sabah Art Gallery to see a comic exhibition and also at the same time, meeting a person who turned out to be one of the 18 cartoonist who registered to become members of PAKARTUN (Kinablu Cartoonist Association).

Midget #2
Glen has some great time chatting with the great cartoonist, admitting that some of the members' drawings were ok, some really horrible and the rest downright unreadable!

Midget#3
Anyway, we would inform you if Glen's gonna be part of the association so stay tuned!

- Glen The Little Midgets That Come In Three

P.S. from The Poet Who Cares: I've written article for my experience in Kundasang. Unfortunately, Glen's dad has changed the PC hardware so it remains stuck there. Looks like I have to rewrite the whole article again. The Boy In The Stick Hat sure is gonna hate me for this!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Glinny In Full Color! Posted by Hello

A Message From Glinny!

Hello Fellow Visitors Of The World!

I am a messenger from Glen himself, Glinny! I am also a creation from his incredible mind and I admit that he's one of those incredible visionaries you will ever meet! Recently, his website hits 70+ visitors and he's pleased with the result since mid Dec. However, he's a bit depressed with the lack of comments from fellow visitors like you. Sure he's crying a bit cause he's seen the other Blogsites and they keep collecting comments! C'mon, guys! Like he said in his previous post, send him comments to boost his morale! He's not gonna fry you with lazer thingie or something with sharp fangs!

Of course you have met his alter egos such as The Boy In The Stick Hat, The Merry-Go-Round Mechanic and The Poet Who Cares but Glen himself is quite... well... himself! He's a bit childish and absurd but he's quite an absurdist in the likes of David Lynch , Terry Gilliam and Tim Burton! But his sense of artistic values is also acute and he always appreciates every good movie and cartoon he has seen in his life! Perhaps you too can tell or ask him of anything he loves about movies! When it comes to filmmaking, he's the master of it!

He also loves drawing cartoons; a prime childhood skill he adopts at that time. (Most of the drawings in his blog are done by Glen himself and all done with Windows Paint! But he can also do more than that, just that the PC he's using doesn't have other fancy programs for the moment. So don't try to copy these images into your websites without Glen's permission) Soon, he would even think of drawing portraits of yourselves! Just ask him and he'll show them when he's done and it's all free! Just send your comments or suggestions only in my segment (A Message Of Glinny), a time when I come to his blog every month to oversee the progress of Glen he goes on living with his weird established characters! Also, once again, please vote for Glen after reading his stories!

In the next article, The Poet Who Cares and The Boy In The Stick Hat will tell their experiences in Kundasang! Stay tuned!

Anyway, let's pray to the victims of the tsunami waves so that they'll get all the help they ever need. Additionally, I also wish to say Happy New Year 2005! Hope you seek for a brighter future in the far horizon!

- Glinny The Birdie

This is Glen The Merry-Go-Round Mechanic! I've implemented a special mailbox for Glinny, our new birdie, to post thoughts based on Glen himself every month just to oversee the adventures of this incredible guy! Also, see my picture here! Posted by Hello